Falling - Bellamy Blake X Reader

Chapter 15

(BELLAMY POV)
Guilt and regret consume me. I feel absolutely pathetic and disgusted with myself. I can't believe I was the reason Y/n is hurting right now. I only slept with Raven to get my mind off Y/n because I thought we were over, I don't have much experience with relationships and after our fight this morning I thought that was the end of us. It's a shitty excuse, I know but maybe if I could explain that to her she would understand and forgive me, allowing us to be together again. I love her with all my heart and it physically hurts me that I caused her pain. The look on her face when she saw us is unforgettable. It was a mix between devastation and shock, my heart shattered seeing her look at me like that.

When Y/n left I had no choice but to run after her and at least try to explain. I ended loosing her when she started going through peoples tents. I walked back to my tent nauseous at the thought of her never forgiving me. By the time I get back to my tent my cheeks are covered in tears while my eyes are bloodshot and puffy. I throw myself on my bed, starting to silently bawl my eyes out, thank god Raven isn't here I don't want to deal with her right now. I must of cried myself to sleep because the next thing I know the sun is seeping into my tent waking me up. For a single moment after waking up I have no memory of last night and I feel peace, but then all the memories of last night events come flooding in causing me to automatically hate myself. I jump out of bed determined to find Y/n and apologize again.

I start thinking at where she could be, the first thing that comes to mind is her tent she used before we started sharing. I sprint as fast as I can, getting there I don't announce I'm coming in or anything I just throw the flap open, desperate to get her back or at the very least see her. I frantically look around for any sign of her only to find no trance. I take notice her backpack is gone but before I can wonder why a couple sheets of papers with writing on them catch my sight. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, reaching for the papers I get a better look at them and realize they're letters addressed to Octavia, Raven, Murphy, Clarke, and me. My heart stops when my brain puts the pieces together, missing backpack plus letters. She's gone. These aren't just any letters they're most likely goodbye letters. My whole body shakes as I fall to the floor with the letter addressed to me in my hands. Tears start pooling in my ears causing my vision to go blurry. I blink them away before I open my letter. I open the letter and time seems to stop as my whole world comes crashing down. I read it over at least 5 times hoping it would say something different but it never does. She's gone and its all my fault.

(OCTAVIA POV)
I'm sitting up in the drop ship with Lincoln (he told his name finally) when a thought crosses my mind, I haven't seen Y/n since yesterday morning. I bid Lincoln goodbye and set off to search for Y/n. I go to her old tent and just as I'm about to enter Bellamy practically falls out with tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. I start to panic, I go to ask "what's going on" but don't when he shakes his head "no" while shoving a letter addressed to me into my hands before he takes off. Even though I'm totally and utterly confused I unfold the letter to see what's written on it. Rereading it over and over more tears start to form. Y/n left because of Bellamy.

I mix of emotions flood through my body, some of them are anger towards Bellamy and the others are sadness at loosing Y/n. In the little time we've known each other we became like sisters to one another. She always knew how to make people laugh and let loose, but she always knew when it was time to be serious and do work. Her e/c eyes always seemed to light up when she was happy but now they're probably filled with so much pain and hurt, my heart aches at the thought I'll never see her again. Even though she promised in her note I can't help but think that she's gone for good.

(RAVEN POV)
I feel terrible about sleeping with Bellamy. Even though I didn't know Y/n personally I could tell how heartbroken she was when she saw us. If I would have known he was seeing someone I would have never done what I did. I push the thought of the Y/n and Bellamy situation aside as I enter my tent. I collapse onto my bed but instead of being met with the sound of a sleeping bag I'm met with the noise of paper being crinkled. I dig underneath me until I find the culprit of the noise. A letter? Opening it I realize it's a letter from Y/n. I don't even get through the whole letter before guilt starts to fill me. She might not blame me but I do. It's my fault she left, if I wouldn't have made a move on Bellamy she would still be here. Even though we didn't know each other it still doesn't make me feel any less guilty.

(MURPHY POV)
I'm leaning against the drop ship sharpening my knife when Bellamy approaches me looking like complete shit.

"You look terrible." I laugh but his expression remains solemn. He throws a piece of paper at my feet before running off. I bend down to pick it up and the closer I get the more I can clearly see the writing in the form of a letter. I read through it a few times, getting more confused each time. I understand Y/n left but why? I usually don't take a liking to people but she was different, like me. If we would have gotten to know each other more there's no doubt in my mind we would have become good friends. I'm going to miss having her around.

(CLARKE POV)
I was organizing our medical supplies when Bellamy bursts into the drop ship. His eyes scan the area but stop, landing on me. I take notice that he doesn't look the same, somethings off. He swiftly makes his way up to me with a sheet of paper in his hands. Bellamy then sets the paper down on the table beside me before turning his back to me and walking out. Just before he was completely out of sight I was able to make out the expression on his face into one of heart-brake. Even though I was puzzled why that expression was on his face I take the paper hoping it holds a answer. I soon find out it's a letter addressed to me from Y/n. I read it over at least 7 times before I figure out the reason Bellamys upset is because Y/n left. But I'm still left with multiple questions like "why did she leave so suddenly?" or "why is Bellamy so effected by her leaving?" I'm not going to lie I'm going to miss her but I'm not heartbroken by it like Bellamy is and I want to think I was closer to her then him. But maybe they were closer then I thought.

*finished editing*