War Within Us

chapter 13. new year's memory

Days were starting to blend together. Every time the military makes a move on these rebels, it is almost as if the pressure they put on them reflects onto us.

More problem arise, it becomes harder to take a peaceful breath and let your mind do its thing to settle the buzzing thoughts.

Today is one of the better days.

I arranged for a builder from a neighbouring village to come help with the repairs of some of the houses. They were specifically informed to come in as a small group of three, saying they were visiting a relative if they were asked. UN would provide us with the materials they needed so all we needed would be them.

I also visited Lee to be informed about his needs for his teachings. Apparently he too talked with the mother of one of the kids who also gives them lessons about their local language about what she would need.

He gave me a list and explained the things that needed specification. I did my best to note everything he said and left there, remembering how he promised to make his famous soup to cheer me up because I quote "I looked dead, inside and out".

I smile to myself as I lean back on my chair and hope to get some peace.

For a moment, I wish there was a window I could look out from but I knew it was a trade I needed to make for my safety.

My little office was an extension of a family's house. They used to have toilet in a seperate place from the actual house for obvious reasons. Most families closed those toilet rooms that were outside of the house or they changed it to use it like a store. Many of these rooms had damaged tires, old bottles to carry clean water, wood and many other things.

Rebels usually never raided these little rooms because they didn't need what was inside there and they knew food would go bad in these so they searched different places for what they wanted.

It could get quite depressing to stay between these four walls some days but I needed the safety and privacy these four walls provided. Some of the documents I had were far too important to store anywhere else and they did give me the biggest one of the rooms which I was grateful for.

I let out a big sigh as my eyes closed. I wanted to distract myself and think about other things, happy things.

Immediately my mind went to my family back home but I quickly removed them from my mind as I knew thinking about them would make me miss them even more.

I couldn't let my mind drift off too far.

Suddenly, a happier moment that belonged to Kaden came to my mind. Thinking back to it, I found it strange how natural it felt to be with them despite how little time we had together.

I chuckled to myself as I replayed the events in my mind.

Flashback - New Year's Eve

"We talked about this before Lee. We compromised. We kept Christmas small as for your request but you also agreed to hang out with us on new year. It is not like we can throw a party out here."

She looked quite disappointed about the fact she accepted about not being able to throw a party but she still kept going with all her New Years spirit.

"We are just gonna have some tea and maybe play tic tac toe or something. You can't bail on us." She turned to me with frantic eyes and gestured me to support her words.

Lee's eyes also turned to me as if I was the judge here.

I shrugged slightly and pursed my lips. "I am not gonna pressure you if you really don't want to but I'd also like you to join us. It would be our first night relaxing all together."

He assessed the situation for few more moments but eventually, I knew he would cave in from the look on his face. We all desperately needed normal human moments, Lee was not any different from us.

We all got our blankets from our rooms and everyone started to pile into the kitchen to make their favorite teas.

Lee liked simple earl grey, he didn't like to add anything to it.

Esther brought a big stash of white tea with her that she consumed very carefully to make it last as long as possible.

I didn't specifically had a preference when it comes to tea, as long as it was sweetened in some way, I would be happy with it. I either had black tea with Lee or had green tea that my mom somehow got me accustomed to despite its bland taste.

Earlier today, after finishing up everything I had to do sooner than I expected, I hurried back home to bake something for me and my roommates.

I was hesitant as I stepped into the small building that locals used as a bakery. They had a big stone oven that anyone could come in and light up to bake. I thought I was lucky as a local was present at the time and helped me as much as possible despite our limited linguistic exchange.

"I have a little surprise for you guys"

I watched as their faces got taken over, eyebrows raised and mouths slighlty agape.

I opened up the pot cabiner and reach inside one of the pots to take out the sweet bread I baked for us.

While the sweet and yeasty smell of the bread filled the room, I saw gratitude in their eyes, their faces lighting up with smiles.

Esther hurried to my side to give me a side hug as she squeezed me as much as she could. "You are honestly the best Vanessa. You didn't have to do this with all your work."

Their happiness made me content and happy as I returned her hug with my other arm. "It is nothing much. I thought it would be nice have something sweet baked after so long. I hope it tastes good as well." I tried to lower their expectations in case the bread was not that good.

Lee reach to give my shoulder a tiny squeeze and after that reached for our teas. "I am sure it is the best thing we will have in this house. Thanks Vanessa."

I smile at both of them and we all quickly settle in our places on the couch.

Hot cups are warming our hands, the bread is gone by the time our teas are finished and we are so much closer than we were before this night started as we go out for a few minutes to watch the sky and count down from 10 to reach the new year, with hopes of health and peace.

Present

I relax in my chair completely.

The memory is a sweet reminder of the good things I have here despite all the bads.

I take a deep breath in as I open my eyes with a newly found energy the memory brought that I needed, to go through with the rest of this day.

*-*

I know we are seven days into the new year, I know I am late but it seems like inspiration comes to me at 3 am in the morning as I lay in my bed. I hope you guys like this little new year's chapter. It was a short memory but there is not a lot one can do in Kaden at night.

Question of the part : How does it make you feel to leave the old year behind and go into a new year?

Love you all and see you next time. I hope you all have a healthy, happy and successful year. Peace -ONM