War Within Us

chapter 24. not a farewell

I don't want to leave the past behind.

I know that I was the one who proposed the idea to him but a part of me wanted to stay bitter.

A very childish, stubborn part of myself wanted to keep this silly game going, trying to hold onto anything that would put a safe distance between us but unfortunately, the adult side of me knew better than that and convinced me to close that chapter. For now.

That's why the dinner table was filled with a tension that was not harsh like it used to be but more so.. weird.

It was like, all we knew how to do was to give each other stares and a cold shoulder.

I think the rest of the guys also noticed a change in the air as Haven kept tilting his head from side to side, inspecting us from his spot in the table.

He was so oblivious in the way he looked us over that it irritated me after ten minutes of him doing it.

The next moment he turned his head to look at me, I widened my eyes and pointed at his food on the table.

Almost like a mother scoulding her child, I moved my lips to spell 'eat', making sure nobody else saw my lip movement.

And just like a kid, Haven replied with sulking his lips ever so slightly, obviously not planning to obey.

Just when I opened my mouth to utter something a little more vulgar, our table shook as Haven yelped back in his seat and hit his knee to the table and squeezed his eyes shut with pain.

"Immm." He tried to conceal his reaction as much as possible.

Looking a little intimidated, he glanced to his side at an unbothered Brit chewing down on a baked potato.

On the other side of him, Maroon was looking down at his plate, the edges of his lips crooked ever so slightly.

Despite already having a good idea of what was happening, I decided to play dumb and ask the innocent question.

"What's wrong?"

With my question, Maroon's lips tilted even further as he was full on smirking at this point.

Haven started to talk but he couldn't get much out. "He jus— ah! I- I just hit my knee while trying to cross my legs." he spit out the excuse in one breath, this time visibly sulking as he turned his head to his plate and played with his food.

After he got completely quiet, my eyes briefly met with Brit that sat across from me.

His expression didn't give much away but in his eyes, I saw the solid presence that spoke "i got this" which had my mind at ease even if by a little bit.

For the rest of the dinner,we all kept to ourselves. My mind instinctively went to the still dangerous road I had ahead but I distracted myself to think about how bland the baked potato tasted.

*-*

Some of us left.

We were on a schedule that had us depart in different times to remain concealed.

As we passed by different corridors and rooms, some soldiers gave me a little nod of recognition.

After a bit more waiting and going over some of the details of the meeting, it was my turn to leave.

We gathered in front of the main building, my backpack behind me, ready to say goodbye.

"It was really nice to have you here Vanessa. Hope to see you again in a better time." Maroon said with his low tone as he stepped forward and offered his hand for me to shake, taking me by surprise.