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light angst, 978 words ∞
IT was just one more ordinary day, you thought.
Sitting on the floor of your living room, and facing tall piles of documents while you furiously typed in your laptop. Working at home isn't easy. It is frustrating and tiring as well as someone who works in an office. A fresh graduate of journalism puts you into a freelancer as you wait for a company to accept you.
Currently, you work as a transcriptionist for lawyers. You're the one who types/converts audio or voice recordings, usually dictated notes, into documents. Journalism helps you a lot with this work, especially in grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. You're quite good at listening while-typing gaming.
But, there's this feeling you couldn't pinpoint. This strange feeling is telling you something was going to happen. A glance with your surrounding, there was nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary that you could blame for that odd sense.
You let out a breath and shrugged to ignore what you felt and run on with transcribing. Want to continue your regular day.
However, that doesn't last when a loud thud of slamming door resounded in the apartment. Heavy footsteps can be heard from the hallway. Confused and startled, you took away your eyes from your laptop and you saw your boyfriend, Seungwoo.
You waved your hands to him and greeted him, but much to your dismay the man ignored you and walked directly towards your shared bedroom. Thus, another loud thud echoed.
What's his problem?
Realizing how Seungwoo looks earlier when he entered-messy hair, loose necktie, and his eyes tell the exhaustion-caught you that made sense of your feeling.
Fiddling your fingers, contemplating whether to talk to him or let him calm down. You know he is not in the mood, something must have happened in his workplace. Choosing the latter one and giving him space, you continue transcribing.
More minutes passed, your worry started to grow. Is he okay? He did not do something bad to hurt him, right? No. He won't anything stupid. I trust him.
When you can't stand it anymore, you waltz towards the bedroom, tiptoed up the stairs. You called but you received no response. Knocking softly three times before twisting the doorknob and there he is, his back facing you. Sitting melancholy beside the window, his eyes looking far away and you guess his mind is wandering somewhere. Maybe that's why he didn't notice me.
With little to no noise, you gently snaked your arms around his torso. Since when was the last time we hugged each other? Resting your cheeks on his back, you closed your eyes, missing the feeling of his warmth. You can feel his muscles stiff with the sudden action. He didn't say anything tho and both of you were engulfed with silence-a comfortable one.
Both of you have been busy with your work. Every morning, Seungwoo will have to leave earlier for work before you could even wake up. While at night, usually he came home late, and either you're too occupied with transcribing or already sleeping. But when he does come home on time (which is rare), just like today, he is unenthusiastic.
Bitterly, you can't even remember since the last time you have a meal together. When was the last time you went out together, enjoy yourselves, and have fun? When was the last you spent time with each other? You mentally shook your head. I can't remember.
"Are you okay?" You broke the silence.
Seungwoo didn't utter any words. You tight your hug more. Waiting for him to open up and letting him feel that you'll understand him.
"What do you want for dinner? I'll cook it for you." You asked, careful with every word.
You tried to remove your arms from hugging to prepare food when he faced you and crash himself to you into an embrace, stopping you from moving. He nuzzled his face on your neck where you can feel his unsteady breath. And you become aware that he is crying.
"L-love..." he cracked.
You hushed him. "Shhh, it's okay. Everything's gonna be alright, love. I'm here. I will always be here beside you. It's okay, it's okay. Just cry, love."
You continue making circles at his back until he removed himself away from you. He lowered his head and sniff. It clenches your heart. When someone you love is having a hard time, it affects you too. You lift his head and wiped out the dry tears stained his cheeks. Cupping his head, you allowed yourself to observe his eyes.
His eyes made you fall in love with him. Those eyes enchanted you. Eyes that were full of beatitude, excitement, and joy. Eyes were once shining and glimmered with hope. But these eyes in front of you were no longer bright.
Pecking his forehead, nose, and lips, you deluged him once again with an embrace. "You want to talk about this now? Or you want some cuddles to sleep and we can talk to it tomorrow?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
∞
Suffering is inevitable-that no matter what you do, life is full of failures, loss, and regrets. We live in a society where they are obsessively focused on unrealistic expectations. And that leads us to-"giving too many fucks in situations where fucks do not deserve to be given (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson)".
When you're tired, rest. Close down the windows, let the clock move their hands no more, and decide nothing until you feel okay. Solace will arrive as the most exciting of blankets. :))
∞
Hi everyone! The past years had been a rollercoaster ride. If you have a problem, you can always slide into my dms. Have a great day! 2 updates for today since I forgot yesterday 💙💛
