In the break room, Jake was watching the new security footage of the night that the jewellery store was robbed.
"This is killing me" complained Jake.
"Good. Die" you said from lying on the couch, flicking through some files.
"You know, if it does come to that, I have but one wish before I go" said Jake, turning to face you.
"What's that?" you asked.
"That I get to go to Disneyworld" Jake said.
"Well, have fun going to Disneyworld" you said.
A few minutes later, you and Jake were sat looking at the laptop, watching as some guy walked past the front of the jewellery store.
"Nothing" Jake said.
"Wait, wait, wait. This guy - 5'9" or 5'10", black knit cap" you said, pointing at the screen.
"Come on, come on, come on" begged Jake. "Gotcha!"
"Ugh, it's not him" you complained. "Let's just arrest this guy. Who even cares anymore?"
"So, what were you supposed to be doing this weekend?" asked Jake.
"I was supposed to be visiting my parents. But that will have to wait until next weekend now. Also, my date that I was supposed to be meeting tonight got so mad when I cancelled on them" you said.
"Wait , you had a date?" Jake asked curiously.
"Yeah. At least I did. It's actually impossible to be a cop and date" you complained.
"Y/n, look. There is someone out there with incredibly low standards and a super weird soul patch, and he is waiting for you" said Jake.
"Aw, Jake, that's so sweet" you said.
Jake pulled something out of the printer and used the picture of the guy to cover his face, and put on a weird voice. "Y/n, my patch tingles for you. We will wed on the isle of New Jersey. Our first dance will be to Jessie's Girl, because my name is definitely Jessie."
"It's so romantic" you said as Scully walked into the room.
"Hey, guys" Scully said.
"Hey" said Jake, turning round to face Scully just as Holt walked into the break room.
"Yeah, there's good news, and there's bad news. The bad news is my saltwater taffy place was closed" said Scully.
"And the good news?" Holt prompted.
"Whitman's alibi checked out. Security footage from Torque shows that he was there" Scully said.
"That's not good news. That's bad news" said Jake.
"Right. That is bad news. Sorry, it's on me" said Scully.
"No, Detective Scully, it's on Peralta" Holt said.
"No, Captain, that's on L/n" said Jake, causing you to hit him. "It's on me. It's still on me."
--------------------
"Besides, I know everything about everyone here. Hitchcock went bald at fifteen. Scully used to date Hitchcock's wife. Charles has a bike with a little basket on the front" Jake said to Amy within your hearing range.
"How else would you carry baguettes?" Charles asked.
"Use a bag" you suggested.
"Y/n's apartment is in Bay Ridge because her parents helped her pay for it because her mom's a doctor and her dad's a lawyer. Rosa has a shower in her apartment, I think. I got nothing on her" said Jake.
"Good" Rosa said from the kitchen unit.
"How do you know that about my apartment?" you asked.
"You told me once. When you were drunk" said Jake.
"Oh. I remember now. Actually, I don't" you said.
"Well, I guess we did just spend 48 hours locked in here together" Amy said.
Suddenly, Jake realized something. "Holt crap" he said, running over to some files that were sat on a random desk.
"What?" you asked, running after him.
"Locked in here together" said Jake,
You and Jake entered Holt's office just as Whitman said "And when I win, I'm gonna buy Club Torque, and put a statue of Jake Peralta right in the middle of the dance floor."
"Please don't. That would be terrible for his ego" you said, standing behind Holt's desk with Jake.
"That's a terrible threat. I would love to have a statue of myself in the middle of a dance club. Second, do me a favor and take a look at this picture" said Jake, putting the files from earlier in front of Whitman.
"You and Regis Philbin" Whitman said.
"Awesome, right? Surprisingly down-to-Earth guy and definitely not the picture I might to show you" said Jake.
"But, take a look at this. That's right, it's you and your old cell mate, Marcus Cole" you said, lifting up the previous picture to reveal a picture of Whitman in prison.
"And here he is again, outside the jewellery store" said Jake, showing Whitman a picture of Marcus Cole.
"The two of you planned this together in prison. You taught him your M.O. He pulled off the robbery, you got yourself an alibi, and you split the loot" you said.
"Oh, man, I can't believe he caught us" Jake said, in a voice meant to be Cole's, holding the picture of Cole up to his face.
"Of course he did. Peralta is the best" said Jake in Regis Philbin's voice. "Aw, thanks, Reg."
"That's enough" said Holt.
"Yeah, you gotta work on your Regis" you said.
"Anyway, see ya in jail, Whitman" said Jake happily.
Jake dropped the papers on the desk, and followed you out of the door and back into the bullpen, celebrating loudly.
---------------
"Sorry for screwing up everyone's weekend" said Jake as the team started to leave the precinct. "Hey, uh, drinks on me. Who's in?"
"Oh, no way" Charles said.
"No, I got the date. I gotta change" Amy said, holding up her dress and shoes.
"Come on" said Jake.
"Everyone's tired, Peralta. They just wanna go home" Holt said from the opposite side of the bullpen.
"I have to prove I'm not selfish, so I don't care what they want" said Jake.
"That's literally the definition of selfish" you said.
"And to make up for what I did, I'll cover one shift each for all of you" said Jake.
Everyone cheered.
"Except Santiago" said Jake.
"What?" Amy said, confused.
"I got you your date back. One nice thing is all you get from me" said Jake.
"See you tomorrow, Jake" you called from the elevator as the door closed.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
