"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said.
Jake...
"Ugh, motorcade duty. It's so boring. I'd rather sit around and listen to Charles talk about the right way to make paella" Jake said as he walked over to the kitchen where you and Charles were talking.
"There's more than one right way to make paella, Jake. There are ten right ways. You got classic Valencian, modern -" Charles started to say.
"No, wait, stop. I changed my mind. I've made a horrible mistake" said Jake as Rosa walked over. "Hey, Rosa, just who I was looking for. Quick question, can I have your friend Katie's number? I wanna ask her out."
"No, I don't mix professional and personal. You're never getting her number" said Rosa.
"Never like 'we're never gonna have a black president' never? 'Cause that happened" Jake said.
"Never. Like if you ever ask me about this again, you're never gonna be able to eat without a straw" Rosa said, and you and Rosa walked away.
"Well, then, you are on the wrong side of history, my friend" said Jake.
"Katie, huh? Wow, I can't believe you're not still pining for y/n. I mean, I pine for years. I still remember Mia, the nurse that helped my Nana pass" Charles said, who had overheard the entire conversation.
"Yes, I know, you've told me a thousand times about the time your nana collapsed and accidentally pulled Mia's pants down" said Jake.
"Best day of my life" said Charles.
"I don't have feelings for y/n anymore, so time for me to get out there and spread my -" Jake said.
"Legs" Charles said.
"Get out there and spread my legs?" asked Jake.
"Well, either way" said Charles.
"No, not either way. Only wings" said Jake.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"Listen up. There's been a problem with motorcade duty. The Serbian president is delayed in Washington, and we can't stop locking down intersections until he takes off" Holt said.
"Apparently he's on an important call with the Albanian president" said Terry.
"Is that Bujar Nishani or is it still Bamir Topi?" asked Amy.
"Oh, Ames, let me check. Hmm, it just says no one likes you" answered Gina.
"There's a three hour delay minimum. Captain Holt and I will have to leave for a meeting at One Police Plaza. You should all stay prepped and ready" Terry said.
"Dismissed" Holt said, and everyone got up.
"Guys, guys, guys. Three hour delay with no Holt or Terry? Do you know what this means?" asked Jake.
"Makeovers" said Charles.
"No, Charles. The Jimmy Jab Games!" Jake said. "The first Jimmy Jabs were held in 2008, when the king of Iraq -"
"President, Iran" you said.
"Armen Jimmy Jab" said Jake.
"Ahmadinejad" you said.
"... Came to New York and we were on call for nine glorious hours. On that day a young genius named Jake Peralta used the last piece of his bagel to create the first Jimmy Jab event: The monster mouth. As soon as Holt and Terry leave, we will commence with Jimmy Jab 7, Circus of Fools" said Jake. "Jimmy Jabs, Jimmy Jabs..."
Everyone began to chant: "Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs. Jimmy Jabs."
----------------
Jake walked over to where you and Rosa were talking.
"So, Jimmy Jabs, huh? What do you say we make it interesting this year? Aha! We could play for Katie's number" said Jake.
"No. Is this why you wanted to do Jimmy Jabs?" Rosa asked.
"No. Yes. Why, what gave it away?" asked Jake.
"You said 'aha' and snapped your fingers" answered Rosa.
"Oh, you wanna go out with Rosa's friend Katie?" you asked. "That's great. She's cool."
"I know, but Rosa has this dumb rule about not mixing work with personal stuff" Jake said.
"That's actually kind of reasonable. I once gave my aunt a jaywalking ticket, and I haven't talked to her in two years" you said. "I think she took it too seriously. But, Jake and Katie would be awesome together."
"I know, right? She's single. I'm single. She's pretty. I'm pretty. So it's settled. If I win you give me her number and if I lose you don't have to" said Jake.
"I already don't have to give it to you" Rosa said.
"I'll give you $200, and never ask you for another number again" Jake said.
"Done" said Rosa, and Jake and Rosa shook hands.
------------------
"We're off. You'll get word when the Serbian president is wheels-up" said Terry as Terry and Holt walked into the elevator.
"You got it, Sarge" you said.
"We'll just be here till you get back. Calmly and respectfully prepping" said Jake as the elevator doors closed. "All right, they're gone! Ceremonial bagel."
You threw him the bagel.
"Flask."
Hitchcock passed Jake the flask. Jake poured the alcohol onto the bagel.
"Flame" said Jake and Charles lit the bagel on fire.
Scully came out of the break room holding a stick and wearing a Viking hat. He was also singing. You kicked a trash can towards Jake, and he caught it with his foot. Jake dropped the bagel into the can, and said "Let the games begin!"
