"So the burner phone that Doug Judy used to contact the Pontiac Bandit is at his mom's house. He's agreed to help us catch the bandit if we drop all charges against him" Jake explained to Holt as you, Holt, Rosa and Jake were all stood in the evidence room.
"How many cars would you say that this Pontiac Bandit has stolen?" asked Holt.
"230 that we know of" you said.
"But the real number could be in millions" said Jake.
"You're not very good at math" said Holt.
Jake nodded in agreement.
"What are the charges against Judy?" asked Holt, looking towards Rosa.
"Twelve counts of identity theft. But I've been chasing him for a month" said Rosa.
"Oh, a month? I've been trying to catch the Pontiac Bandit for eight years. You know how many months that is?" Jake asked.
"96" you answered.
"80 - 40 - and 6 years, months" said Jake, turning to face Holt, his arms crossed.
"Do you need a math tutor? Because the department will provide one for you" Holt asked.
"I can't tell if you're being serious" said Jake.
"I'm on the fence here. Diaz caught him. It's your call" said Holt, nodding at Rosa.
"Look, this guy is for real. 1,000 push-ups" Jake said.
"1,000 push-ups, really?" said Rosa, surprised.
Jake nodded.
"Okay. I'm in" Rosa said, turning to Holt, a smile on her face.
"What's 1,000 push-ups?" Holt asked.
"Oh, we were all in the academy together, and we hated the drills, so now when we're on a case and one of us says 1,000 push-ups, it's means I'm so sure I'm right that if I'm wrong I'll do 1,000 push-ups" you explained.
"It's a pact we made. It really just means 'Trust me.' And I do" said Rosa.
"Okay. Make the deal" Holt said.
"Yes! I've got you now, Pontiac Bandit. Whoo!" Jake cheered loudly. "Feels good to finally say that in front of actual people instead of just the mirror."
"And you ruined it" you said.
----------------
"All right, so we grab the burner, catch the Bandit, become police legends" said Jake.
You were all stood outside apartment buildings, you, Jake and Rosa next to each other and Judy was stood against the car in handcuffs.
"My mom's car is here. She's home. Can I take these cuffs off?" asked Judy, looking around the street.
"No way" you said.
"She doesn't know I'm a criminal. She thinks I own an architecture firm with all white employees" said Judy.
"That's racist" Jake said quietly.
"Why stop there? Why not tell her you're an astronaut?" said Rosa.
"'Cause space is scary. You saw what it did to Sandy Bullock" Judy said.
"Yeah, I'm with him on this one. I'll stay on Earth, thank you very much" agreed Jake.
"Yeah" said Judy, laughing.
"Come on, Rosa. We can play-act with his mom for two minutes to get a lead" you said.
"Fine. One false move, and I tase you in front of your mom" threatened Rosa as she uncuffed Judy.
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"Dougie! Oh, my beautiful boy" an elderly woman said enthusiastically walking forwards with a walking stick to hug Judy. "Well, shouldn't you be at work?"
"Never too busy to see my mama" said Judy, accepting her hug.
They turned to face you, Rosa and Jake.
"Mama, this is my girlfriend Rosa. And this is my personal assistant. Mangy Carl" Judy introduced.
"Aw, it's nice to meet you. You can just call me Carl" said Jake.
"And that's y/n, Mangy Carl's girlfriend. Y/n also works with me" Judy said. "Mangy Carl used to be a homeless gentleman. I work with a charity that finds jobs for down-on-their-luck white people."
"He's just a big, old angel. He's been so good to ... the whites" Jake said, and Judy's mom laughed.
"Yes, he is" agreed Judy's mom.
"Hey, speaking of which, we should probably grab that phone, you know, so you can get back to architecturals" you said.
"Yes, it's in the spare bedroom" said Judy, walking towards the spare room.
"I'll go with you. It's a mess" offered Judy's mom kindly.
"Actually, we can handle it on our own, ma'am, thank you so much" said Jake politely. "Why don't you three just stay up here and ... get to know each other?"
"Well, that sounds nice. We can get to know each other a little" said Judy's mom as Jake left the room.
"I love getting to know people. It's my jam" said Rosa awkwardly.
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"Papa!" said Judy.
"Fievel!" said Jake.
You and Rosa walked up behind them.
"You guys having fun?" asked Rosa loudly.
"Hey" said Jake nervously.
"'Cause I'm not. His mom put this stupid braid in my hair" said Rosa, holding up said braid.
"Oh, looks beautiful" Judy said.
"Yeah, it's kinda cute" said Jake as Rosa pulled out a knife and cut the braid out.
"Please have my children" Judy said, looking at Rosa who glared at him fiercely.
The phone chimed and you picked it up. "It's him. Parking lot on Flatbush and Vanberbilt in fifteen minutes."
"Let's go" said Jake.
"Wait, wait, wait. Diaz and l/n look like dirty criminals. But you look like a cop, man. You can't go out there looking like that" said Judy.
"What'd you have in mind?" asked Jake.
Judy smiled.
A few minutes later, you were all walking out of Judy's mom's apartment building, Jake dressed in a bright white suit followed by you, Rosa and Judy.
"I don't look like a cop now" Jake said as you and him opened opened two car doors.
"No, you look like a Boyz II Men Easter album" said Rosa, opening another car door.
"Burn" Judy said.
"That's not a burn, that's cool" said Jake.
"Nope, that's a burn" you said.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
