Jake and Amy wheeled some fake fur coats into the bullpen as one of the painted ladies shouted "Why's Gina talking about heaven? We gonna die in here?"
"No, no, no! She's just being a funny weirdo" said Jake.
"Look, Mom, I'm going to have to call you back. I wish I could be there, but I can't. Tell the others I said hi. Bye" you said, and hung up the phone, and walked over to Jake and Amy.
"Everything's fine. More importantly, I was not able to find any 'heat' because it's more of a concept, but we did find these beauties" said Jake, pointing at the coats. "There all faux fur, and all the best brands. We've got Chanelb, Grucci, Stella McCarkeys."
"I want the one with the muff" one of the gang members said.
"Great choice, sir, but there's actually only five coats, so we're gonna have to figure out a way to share them. I was thinking maybe a trivia contest" said Jake as some other people took the coats.
"Screw the coats. I want more food" the lawyer said.
"Interesting fact there - It turns out the one-time-only feast was all the food that we had" said Jake.
"What? You didn't ration the food?" asked the painted lady.
"I'm not gonna sit here and starve. It's Thanksgiving. You said it was a hoax. We're only here because of some dumb protocol. I'm leaving. I'm walking out that door" said the lawyer angrily.
"Jake, you have to arrest him" you said.
"No, it'll only make things worse" said Jake. "Look, we're doing this my way, I'm the captain now! That totally sounded like a movie ref, but I was actually being serious. Excuse me, sir? Hi. Can I talk to you in my office for a sec? It's nothing serious, just a fun chat." Jake looked at you. "Look, if you don't come with me, she's going to arrest you."
Charles ran over and whispered "Hey, are you guys whispering? I'm Charles Boyle. I'm sort of the number two guys around here."
Jake, Charles and the lawyer went into Holt's office.
Moments later, the lawyer came out of the office and stood on a chair. "Hey, everyone! They lied to us! It's friggin' anthrax!"
Everyone began to run around, shouting loudly.
"All right, everyone calm down! Just calm down!" shouted Jake as Charles and Rosa tried to restrain everyone.
"Let us out, or I'm gonna start breaking things!" threatened the gang member.
"This is a human rights violation! You can't keep us here!" shouted the lawyer into the megaphone.
"I'm twenty-three, I'm a celebrity, and today, I'm gonna die!" groaned Gina from her desk.
"Not one word of that is true" said Rosa as Hitchcock yelled loudly from the balcony.
"Ooh, Hitchcock's bleeding. He got hit in the head with a soda can. He never saw it coming" Scully said, worried.
"Jake, we have to start putting people in detention" you said.
"We have to quash this" said Amy.
"No, we need them to calm down. We need to put on Something's Gotta Give" Jake said.
"Great idea. Great movie" Rosa said.
"Also, we should probably put out that fire" you said, pointing at the fire on Hitchcock's nap couch as the alarm began to beep loudly.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
