Charles put his glass down. "Okay, well, Captain, the only free bedroom is my ex-wifes which is strictly off-limits. She locks the door, and takes the handle home with her."
"All right, you can have my bed" said Jake. "Charles, I'll take yours."
"Problem solved. I'll sleep on the floor. Captain, come with me" said Charles, leading Holt out of the room.
"What the hell, Jake? No bosses" Rosa said angrily.
"Look, he told me this story about how his squad always excluded him and I know I come across as a cynical, badass cop with a checkered past and a thirst for - I felt bad. You would've too. Guys, he just wants to josh around. Is that so bad?" said Jake.
"I am dating his nephew. Now we're hanging out on weekends? What is next?" Rosa groaned. "Small talk."
"Okay, Amy, you got to be glad that Holt's here, right? I mean, you're basically in love with him" said Jake.
"I love him. I'm not in love with him, but I'm definitely not comfortable being drunk around him" Amy said.
"Amy, please keep the volume down, okay?" you asked.
"Sorry. It's two drinks. I can't help it. That's it. I'm cutting myself off" whispered Amy.
"So Jake messes up, and you punish me for it? Come on, Amy, you're better than that" said Gina.
"You guys, this is gonna be fine. I mean, Terry's our boss and he comes with us every year" Jake said.
"Correction: You bring vacation Terry, and he is no mans boss. When the slippers are filled, Terry is chilled" Terry said.
"We're happy the Captain's here" said Scully.
"Thank you, Scully and Hitchcock, the voice of reason" Jake said.
"Holt's the big fish we've been waiting for. We have an exciting investment opportunity to pitch him" said Hitchcock.
"What?" asked Jake.
"It's an offshore casino that's currently sunk off the coast of Delaware" Scully said.
"No, okay, both of you are officially uninvited from this whole weekend" Jake said.
"Too late. We drove up as a group. There's no getting rid of us" said Hitchcock.
"Sorry, Jake. This weekend's gonna suck" said Rosa.
"All right, you know what? You guys are being a bunch of racist, homophobic golf cops, and I for one think this weekend's gonna be even more fun because Holt is here" said Jake.
-----------------
Everyone was eating lunch and Holt asked "So, how do you all typically blow off steam? Does anyone have any complaints about the work environment?"
"No, no, we usually just gossip, right?" said Jake.
"Yeah" said Amy.
"Hey, did everyone see Dave from downstairs this week? He shaved his beard" you said.
"Oh, my God. His whole face looks like a butt" Gina said.
Everyone apart from Holt laughed.
"Ha-ha, butt face Dave" laughed Rosa.
"Butt Face Dave, that's his new name, Butt Face Dave, 'cause his dace looks like a butt" said Jake.
"I like David. He's a good cop" Holt said.
"Yeah" said Scully.
"David is great" you said.
YOU ARE READING
Brooklyn 99: Jake Peralta x Reader
Fanfiction"Was it? 'Cause I know for a fact you also told her when you got back, and everytime you would, y/n would get 'confused' and then our relationship would get 'out-of-sync,' and if you ask me, I think it's because y/n liked you back" Elliot said. Jake...
