Ten Reasons Not to Die

Chapter 7 Day 5

Colby~
Demons.

Demons are what are scattered in my mind, Whispering their thoughts, Screaming their sadness, and darkening everything around me, making the world grey, Multiple demons are bad, a few are ok, but me, They live in me, making me do and think things I don't want to.

What about your demons, how many of them do you have, how bad do they make you feel, Cause as hell their hard to fight, when they whisper their nasty opinions or they cry you their pain.

the children all hear me crying at night, They don't do anything because they cry sometimes too.

One boy, he's 19, This will be his last year here, but when he hears a child crying, he comes in and talks to you, the night he heard me crying, the night I was going to jump off, he came to see me, He asked what was wrong, I didn't reply, He's the closest thing to a parent I can have, He sat there and let me cry, didn't bug me to say what was wrong, he just sat there, Hugging me, he came back to nights ago, When Sam asked If I was mad at him, when he yelled to everyone practically about me, he came to talk, Not like a counselor but he said things, How he felt the same as me when he was 16 that he felt unwanted and empty, how he almost did the same thing, but he didn't he fought them, I asked how, and he just sat there for a minute, just sitting there quietly looking at his folded tight hands before he said

"Help. Ask for the help, they sure make it sound like you don't need it, but you do, their trying to distance you from your friends, trying to isolate you and make you feel more empty and dark, Sometimes you break down, and something slips through, Then someone worries, they say it's not good for people to worry so you brush them off, telling them the iconic 'I'm fine' when everyone knows your not, but they don't look beneath your mask, the mask you put up to hide away like they said. Everyone doesn't like strong emotions like that, They don't like to see you cry because it makes them uncomfortable, Its a sick world we live in. But all that you need to do to fight them is ask for help, even if the voices or the demons say no"

Now that's all I can think about, Of course their uncomfortable, That's why they say 'don't cry, please stop crying' like they don't want to see you cry because their uncomfortable and don't know what to do or say, that's a problem now because now everyone cries behind locked doors and everyone hides their feelings behind a mask, a mask of happiness, fake happiness, A fake person, and then they say

'Why is your reaction to something sad... Nothing? Shouldn't you be crying like the rest of us? Are you heartless?'

Or something like that.

Sam~
Walking down the dark hallway is like walking through a haunted house, it feels like someones gonna jump out, or someones gonna turn the corner and kill you, or a demon is waiting at the end of the hallway ready to drag you to hell, that's what my dream was about, A long dark hallway with dim red lights leading the way every few feet, with darkness at the very end, theres rooms too, small ones with Crazy asylum looking people off of the movies, Just sitting there.. motionless, In a chair looking out a window, Which is black, I don't dare walk into one, By each room the people start looking more dead, more scary, more blood too. I hate the eery silence that filled the hallway, Its to quiet, Why is it quiet, I'm in a hall filled with people, and yet it's dead silent. I reach the end, the scary end, with one room, a blue room, A boy is in there, I can't see who it is, the red and blue aren't letting me see him, But it feels like I do know him and I can see him, but why can't I, He's right there.

"Hello?" I whisper, it echoes, down back to the long beginning, He doesn't move, doesn't even flinch at the call. I wonder who this boy is, I wonder who this blonde boy is, He's in the dark, the dark blue light, lightening, to a white.

"Sam" cold, its cold,  oh the blanket fell off "what?" I sit up, wiping my eyes, not surprised there's a few tears, but not expected "you ok?" I nod, is it morning? Yeah "Ok well get changed" i slip my feet out of the rough feeling blanket, the wooden tiles leaving a chill at the bottom of my foot.

Of course, it was a dream, the same dream I been having for the last couple days, Its just a repeat, Seeing the blonde boy in the chair, surrounded by the blue light. The halls were always filled with weary silence, no one liked the hall, the hall is the war zone, what we call it anyways. Its called the war zone because you get targeted there, for anything, bullying, Teasing, Hanging out with friends, if you have any,  Target for practically anything you can think of.

I don't like walking down the hallways alone, their kind of scary to me not gonna lie.

***
Class started, well the 3rd class, I spent the first two sleeping, in a secret spot that I'm not saying, too many told on me and this space is where I come to actually be able to calm down if I had a panic attack or if someone was mean and i start crying, well when I was younger, i don't come here much, haven't been in here for what 2 years now?

I walk in, Sitting beside Kat, the teacher murmuring a bored hello, honestly she probably didn't even care if I never showed up.

Where were you? She hands me on a paper, I was still asleep.

I leave it on that, not that she asked more.

"Reason number 5.. Nevermind" I can't even think of a reason, he sighs, he holds my wrist, hugging me, why is he hugging me? Is he crying? Is he upset? I like it when he hugs me though "I'm so sorry" he's crying, he is definitely crying, but he spoke, only a three word sentence but still he spoke only a few days with him not speaking he came back.

Colby~
The demons seem to have left and got bored, but I know their coming back, I know they'll be back taunting me more. Today I actually got to speak, not much and it was only to Sam but I don't know, Theres no reason, no reason not to die, I don't know if I want to die anymore, or if I want to leave this like this place, the orphanage, this couch that's colours do not match, these teachers that are being psychologically abusive towards us, mostly the teenagers, the kids younger than 7 are favored, they allowed them to have christmas, some of them got a birthday, only a favored few but still they had something, they had a celebration, Something me and the older kids never got at that age.

A/N
Well. Hi? I'm Bored, you have no idea what thoughts I just have for the ending of the book and when I'm bored and I think of a story.. the story is gonna take a turn and your not gonna know when...maybe it'll be a surprise :))