If Hux Could Kill || Kylo Ren

An Explanation

TW: alcohol use, short mention of family issues

I rolled over, letting out a long exhale as I looked to Rey's sleeping face.

Her chest rose and fell evenly as a soft snore escaped her lips. I was barely able to make the outline of her face in the low light of the moon that seeped in through the window of my bedroom.

Her limbs were spread across the bed, taking up most of the space. I wasn't surprised, since the time we met and had spent nights up talking and falling asleep during the early hours of the morning she had always spread wide across the bed. How Will delt with it, I would never know.

Rey had stayed with me each night for the past few days, the days after Armie and Phasma's wedding. The days after I had been shot.

Thankfully, I was recovering well. It was still sore, but it was mostly a surface wound. I was still oblivious as to what had happened the rest of the night. How I had gotten home, how Apollo had been found and brought back, nor where Kylo had gone.

Although I was recovering well, I still hadn't been able to sleep all of those night, there were too many things running through my mind to even try.

So much had happened in the past several months. It hadn't even been a year since I had officially taken over the business, since my father had died.

It was a whirlwind. None of it I would have ever expected.

I knew it was going to be tough, that I would have to be ready for the unexpected. But this was something different.

I didn't expect Noah to appear and I had never prepared myself for something like that.

I hadn't expected the Palpatines to return. That was something I wasn't sure I could have ever been prepared for, or even thought of.

I hadn't expected to get sick. I wasn't prepared to have to focus so much on my own health. Decisions were even made for me without allowing me time to think on what I wanted anyway. I had never thought about having children, but as the only girl it was something I was kind of expected to do, to have children, to have a family.

But that was no longer an option I had. The doctor had told me there was still a chance, but it was so minimal that it was something I shouldn't get my hopes up for.

Not that I was mad about it, nor that I had a plan to get pregnant any time soon, but being told that I wouldn't be able to accomplish the one thing my mother had praised me for? That I wouldn't be able to have children? It was a hard thing to accept.

And then there was the matter of Kylo Ren.

I knew I would deal with the Rens at some point, but the way that events had turned out, that was something I could have never even imagined.

At first, I had hated him, but was so intrigued by him. He was just another person who was trying to get close to gain more power and wealth for themselves. But that soon turned out to be false.

He became someone that I could see in my life, someone I could see as a business partner.

He showed me that he was trustworthy. He showed me that he was on our side, my side. He showed me his caring nature. He showed me that I could put my full faith in him.

But then he suddenly changed. Suddenly became distant, uncaring.

That kept me up at night. That small fact, those two short interactions, filling my mind day and night.