If Hux Could Kill || Kylo Ren

It's Too Late

TW: angst, self-doubt, Kylo does get kinda handsy/aggressive but it's short

My eyes met with Kylo, unable to detach before the door swung shut.

I was kept in the state of confusion and shock, my mouth slightly agape, my eyes wide.

"What?" Apollo asked, his voice full of concern as he swung around to follow my line of vision. "What's wrong?" He spun back to me.

I looked back at him before lowering my head, shaking it.

"Nothing." I looked up to him and smiled. "Nothing, just thought I saw someone I knew." I gave him another warm smile, my hand waving in front of my face, hoping it would wipe away the worry in his eyes.

It didn't. But he didn't question me any further as I stood up.

"I'll be right back, have to use the restroom." I smiled down at him before turning to make my way towards the bathroom, hoping that I could calm myself down enough so that I could get through the rest of the dinner. That and the idea of knowing that Kylo was in the same building as me, and that there was a possibility that we could run into each other.

The idea of interacting with him at the moment was torturing me.

I had finally realized my feelings as soon as he became distant again. It was the same cycle I had seen throughout my life. Why I thought this could be different, even if just for a moment, was eating at my mind.

How could I be so stupid? How could I believe that I could be loved like that? How was I so naïve to think that I was worthy of something like that?

I could feel the tears welling up as I pushed the door to the bathroom open aggressively.

I stopped in my place, jumping back slightly as an older woman glared at me.

"Watch where you're going." She spat at me as she shoved past me, her shoulder hitting my arm.

I spun around watching her with my mouth slightly agape. I hadn't meant to be rude or to nearly hit her with the door, but I was too far gone in my own thoughts to notice anyone else.

And not only did I feel bad about it, but her reaction only pushed me further down the trap of emotions I was currently caught in.

I slammed the door shut, locking it behind me, not caring to check if anyone else was in the bathroom with me.

Before I could fall, I let my hands catch me on the sink, holding me up as my body began to shake as I let out a long sob, my head hanging low.

I let myself sit that way for a moment, letting the tears fall, before I looked up into the mirror.

My mascara was running, my eyes red and the skin surrounding them puffy. My hair was slightly messy.

I looked like a train wreck.

I clenched my jaw as I took a deep breathe in.

I couldn't act this way. I couldn't let my emotions get the best of me. I was acting like a child. I knew I shouldn't have been so focused on my love life, or rather lack thereof. I had a family to think about, I had a business to run.

Why did Kylo's feeling towards me matter.

I took another deep breath in, composing myself.

I grabbed a few napkins, cleaning up my makeup the best I could. I ran my hands through my hair to tame the small fly away hairs that stood prominent.