negan fic;; sex, major age gap, smoking, sexual violence etc.
"sunday, wake up, give me a cigarette
won't you quit your crying? i can't sleep
one minute i'm a little sweetheart
and next minute you are an absolute creep"
- obsessions//marin...
XXIII. - glory and gore : lorde - "victory's contagious"
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once again i'm sat in the passenger seat of negan's van. so much has happened since my last ride. i was so scared back then. vulnerable like a deer caught in headlights. i felt so weak. i wish i could go back and tell myself i'd survive.
we've been driving for an hour or so now i think. negan told me we were close.
the clock on the dash reads 23:34. i'm not sure if it's right. but it feels late, so maybe.
a sharp beep of a car horn signals we've arrived. negan brakes harshly and turns the key in the ignition.
he turns to me and places a warm hand on my thigh. "you ready kid?" he asks.
"ready." i smile confidently back at him. obviously fake. but i've got to convince myself somehow.
he plants a slow kiss on my temple. and i feel my bones relax as he exhales.
as he pulls away i turn to the window. we're at another clearing in the woods. i can't see much, only simon and the gang gathering. negan pops open his door and jumps out. i watch him saunter round the front of the vehicle to open mine too.
"thanks" i shoot him a small smile and hop from my seat. as my feet hit the ground the noise comes into focus. a faint groaning. coming from deeper in the trees.
i look up at negan for reassurance. he knows i need it. his hand has already snaked around my waist and is gripping me tight.
"well, get moving ladies! we don't have all day" he barks sarcastically at the men before us.
they all jump to his orders, shuffling to action and then marching into the darkness ahead.
i dive my hand into my pocket and locate my new switchblade. it's smooth handle sits perfectly in my shaking palm, and i keep it there. gripping it tight.
we walk for about five minutes. or maybe it's less than that. but we're walking in silence. and it feels like forever.
my adrenaline builds as the noise does. that unmistakable noise. the sound of walkers. hundreds of them i'm guessing, to reach that volume.
"hit the lights simon" negan barks orders to the man in front.
suddenly the path ahead of me is illuminated, and at the end of it stands a huge holding cage. the dead building up against the wire walls. scratching aimlessly and desperately in our direction.
"don't be scared" he squeezes me tighter "you got that blade ready?".
i nod yes.
he drops his arm from my waist and waves it in the air. i watch, confused, as someone opens a gate wide enough for one to pass through.
i turn and face negan, he's fallen way back from me. "what's happening?"
the dead one stumbles forwards, restrained by a sort of collar around its neck. one of the saviours leads it straight towards me.
"negan?" i shout. then i watch as the biter is released and shoved in my direction.
no one's going to help me. this one's on me. i'm not scared. just, sorry. i feel guilt well up in my chest as i come to terms with what i'm about to do.
i stride forwards. the corpse does the same.
it looks female. just taller than me. remnants of long hair flow tangled and dragging down it's back. it's inner workings exposed by what i guess was the bite that turned her.
my hand dives into my pocket and i whip out my blade. i raise it level to my head, i dart to the lady, i grab her skull and i plunge my knife deep into it.
the end is immediate. the arms fall. the body slumps and buckles to the ground.
a slow clap rings behind me. i swing around to find the sound is coming from negan. he's beaming with pride.
"now that, is my girl!" he bellows.
i offer no response.
"cmon trouble. tell me that didn't feel good." he approaches me, swinging lucille back and forth as he does.
he leans in close, his hot breath hitting my neck and sending shivers through me. "you will speak when spoken to."
"it did" i reply, "it felt good".
"well fuck me," he addresses his men, "we have just witnessed the birth of a badass!"
a cocky grin forms across his face. "i'll make you feel even better once i get you home."
his words have an immediate effect on me. down there. it's pathetic. he knows what he's done.
i want to kiss the smug look from his stupid face. but i don't.
instead, i make my own signal to simon. telling him to release another of the dead.
if it's a badass negan wants, i'll really make him proud.
