burning bridges /negan.

XXXII.

XXXII
- compass : zella day -
"compass points you anywhere closer to me,  if we make it out alive"

"you warm enough?"

"yeah, thank you" i lie, politely. but i'm unable to cover the next wave of shivers that attack my body.

negan stands and removes the jacket from his shoulders, shaking it before laying it down over my bare legs. i protest, but he insists.

the man returns to where he was sat on the floor beside me, in just a thin shirt now. pulling me close again and taking the weight of my curled up body.

"getting home might take some time if we can't jack ourselves a car"

i've survived this way before. covering as much ground as possible by daylight, and taking cover at night. praying to make it undisturbed 'til sunrise.

"but the saviours," i query, "won't people come looking for you?"

he doesn't respond. just pulls me in a little tighter. i assume that no answer is his answer.

the woods at night are unbearably dark. the trees' canopies blocking any moonlight from seeping through and illuminating the floor below.

"how do you know which way's home?"

i watch curiously as he pulls something small from his back pocket. a compass.

my heart rate won't slow. it hasn't since we stopped running. the silence in the air is making me feel uneasy. every chirp of an insect, every rustle of leaves above send my brain spiralling.

negan thinks out loud, "where has that useless kid got to?"

zac has been missing, out in the night searching for firewood, for a while now. i think it was brave of him to volunteer.

i nestle further into negan's chest, bearing his leather as a makeshift blanket.

"we'll be home before you know it"
the man's rough voice hums. his chin resting on the top of my head.

"i'm not scared negan"

he chuckles, "i know you're not kid".

the snap of a twig in close proximity jolts both of us to attention. in the darkness i can make out negan, finger to mouth, instructing me to remain silent.

he stands slow and silent. grabbing lucille from where she rests. i hold my breath as he swings the bat over his shoulder, ready to attack. my hand dives into my pocket and wraps around the pistol inside.

out from behind the trees stumbles zac. his small arms hauling a mass of firewood close to his chest.

"holy crap, you are creepy as shit. what are you doing sneaking up on us like that?"

the boy starts unloading the sticks and foliage whilst rambling an apology. negan stands again, leaning over zac, observing his movements. he flicks a match to help illuminate the clearing.

without his body to lean on. i nestle back into the fallen tree behind me. laying my head comfortably against the bark, and letting my eyes close lightly, in an attempt to relax.

my limbs begin to grow heavy. images of black and white swirl on the insides of my eyelids. i sense my body shutting down. i feel like falling asleep.

yes. falling asleep. i'm falling, asleep.

the sound of the forest floor melts away. i watch leaves falling from the sky. sun beams roll and drip from the tip of my nose and into the ground below me. flowers spring up from those golden spots. climbing upwards at a rapid pace; skyscrapers in development. i lie backwards, the mossy ground beneath me is soft, like a childhood blanket, and i sink into it. but the sky above turns dark. peace turns to panic, and my limbs twitch as the sprouting flowers turn to weeds that engulf me. wrapping tight around me and pinching at my skin. dragging me further and further below the earth's surface. i thrash and scream and rip at the stems that are suffocating me.

then i jolt awake.

"do you hear me? we have to move!" negan shakes me into consciousness again.

my neck whips around to the sound of screams coming from our third party.

one of the dead has latched itself onto zac's shoulder. ripping flesh from the bone with sickening ease. the boy is crying as he falls to the floor. more walkers lay into him. emerging out from the trees in startling numbers.

"now!" negan yells. he snatches his jacket from my legs, slips it on, and pulls me to stand.

zac's screams are beginning to subside. now straggling sickos begin to stumble over his twitching body and straight towards us.

with lucille in hand, negan swings and knocks them to the floor. but they're coming at us quick. all of the noise must have attracted a small herd.

"keep moving!" he instructs me. the urgency rife in his voice.

"wait!"

my eyes fall upon the bag of vinyls i had picked earlier. i lunge forward and snatch the handle. i tug; but the second strap is caught on a stray branch.

"leave it!" he grabs hold of my spare arm. i rip it back from him.

i continue to shake at the bag frantically, hoping to free it, "just, two, seconds" i shoot back at him.

negan roars in frustration as he walks around me, smashing the nearest monster to the floor with one swing of lucille. a few more break into the clearing, closing in on us both.
i watch as the bag is trampled under feet, and the discs are surely destroyed.

"go, now" he orders.

i grab his face in my hands, and tell him
"i love you".

then, i bolt into the darkness. weaving through the huge trees. i push the thought of walkers lurking amongst them to the back of my mind. i push the thought of negan's face softening in helplessness as i confessed my feelings to him, to the back of my mind.

my feet pound the forest floor. i'm used to running. i know how. once i start it's hard to stop.

branches snag at my clothes and tear superficial wounds in my skin. i keep running.