burning bridges /negan.

XXII.

XXII.
- in quiet rooms : ollie MN -
"i want to be consumed to love in quiet rooms"

smoke rises from negan's lips and up to the ceiling of my little room.

he's lay staring up at it. his arm is draped around my shoulder, and my head rests on his bare chest.

he brings the cigarette to my lips and i take a drag. i pinch it from his fingers and continue to smoke.

i feel his fingers running through the ends of my ragged hair and back up. he massages my head, and i smile.

i like us like this. calm, bodies close, no clothes. it's peaceful. and peace is rare.

"he wanted to kiss me you know?" i think out loud.

the light streaming from my window is turning a darker orange. it must be gone 6 o'clock by now.

"he?" negan questions
"who's he?"

i strain my neck back to look him in the face; "rick" i say, matter of factly.

he squeezes my body tighter to his. i crane my neck to look up at him. i can see in his face that he's fighting the urge to get angry.

"and? did you give him the pleasure?"

i scoff, "of course not!"

he snatches the smoke back from me, and places it between his grinning teeth.

"i'm yours. that's how i see it" i continue.

he raises his eyebrows at me. "mine huh?"
i nuzzle closer into him, and he plants a gentle kiss onto the top of my head.

he sits up slowly and i do too.

"i probably have somewhere to be doll" he sighs and shoots me an apologetic look.

biting my lip to hide my disappointment, i nod in response.

"come to my room tonight" he saunters to over to where his clothes are slumped haphazardly on the floor.

he looks up at me as he pulls his trousers on "oh, and wear something warm".

"are we going on another run?" i ask curiously, watching him finish getting dressed; he shrugs his shoulders.

"don't ask questions. just, meet me later."

i lift my head as he plants a kiss on my temple and then strolls to the door.

-

"wear something warm" he had said.

as i make my way through the winding corridors to meet him in his quarters, i hope i've dressed appropriately.
a huge old sweatshirt i'd stolen from lost property, and a pair of baggy jeans tied with string at the waist. unfortunately, i've learnt apocalypse fashion isn't as glamorous as they used to imagine on TV shows.

i arrive at his door and knock twice. almost immediately, he opens it. he grins at me and i feel myself blush.
"hello again" he says, beckoning me inside.

"so, what's the plan?" i chirp. sauntering around the room, faking confidence to hide my nervousness in his presence.

"the plan is to teach you how to survive" he pauses and strolls over to me,
"you need to be able to defend yourself if you're going to join me out there".

my heart sinks. i know what he's talking about, and i don't want a part in it.
i've only ever killed two walkers, only when it was life or death.
and negan kills them like it's a sport.

i think he notices my smile drop.

"listen doll," he lifts his hands to my face and holds my softly,
"i'm always going to protect you. but if a time comes when i can't, i want to know that you'll be okay".

my head fills with images of a world without negan. i have to shake it away.
i know that was my reality up until a few weeks ago, but i don't want to go back to it.

i break away from his grip and ask, "so when do we start?".

"that's my girl" he smiles like a kid.
"we're starting right now. see that package on the bed? open it."

i hadn't noticed it before; there's a small wrapped gift sat neatly on the edge of his four poster.
he's made a sweet job of this wrapping. i sense him watching me as i rip the paper carefully from the box.

prying off the lid i gasp, as i see a beautiful switchblade nesting inside.

i begin running my fingers over the handle, admiring its detail. it's solid mahogany and adorned with etched swirling patterns.

"flip it." he says.

i do as he says, and spot my initials carved in amongst the patterns; BW.

i fling my arms around negan and plant a kiss on his cheek. "thank you. i love it."

there's a loud knock on the door.

"we're ready for you negan."