Save Me and I'll Save You L.S

Chapter 1

A/N Hey! I doubt anyone will be reading this, but I've had this idea floating around in my head for agesssss now so thought I'd give it a whirl. I'm not sure how often I'll update but if people do read this I won't leave you hanging :))) 

Louis

Great. Fucking great. Back at uni for another year, this hell hole is the last place Louis wants to be barely having made it through the previous year. When he'd returned home after the end of the year he had declared that he would never step foot back there again. Which meant that basically he didn't shut up about it for the whole holiday. Well that was in between random bursts of annoyance and anger which were directed at his mother, who was fucking useless spending her time cooped up in her room lost in her thoughts. When Louis wasn't having an argument with his mother over school he plastered on a smile for his younger sisters who were the only light in his life. Then when he wasn't occupied with his mother or sisters he was sat in his room trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong with him.

Louis was gay. Well not gay, but he definitely was not straight. He liked to settle with being bi, making the most of both worlds as he worded it.

Its not that Louis has a problem with gay people cause he doesn't, its just that he needs to give his mother some hope for grandchildren of her own. You see Louis's sexuality was the least of his concerns, he had lost all sense of happiness for quite some time now, which resulted in him being consumed by numbness. He cannot honestly remember the last time he was happy or more specifically felt anything besides being angry or numb. Its not like Louis had an awful life,  there was room for improvement though, he had friends- or a friend, his sisters, his mother, and not much else. Louis's family was dirt poor putting it lightly, and the only way he was managing to get an education was through a scholarship to a posh uni that felt the need to balance out the numerous rich kids with one not rich kid, basically he was a charity case. If Louis had his way he would have stayed home working to support his sisters unlike his batshit useless mother. Louis's mother spent her days shut in her room doing god knows what, she had kind of lost the plot back when Louis's father left claiming that he couldn't deal with the responsibility of children or some shit like that. That meant Louis spent his high school years mothering his four sisters which had been chaos to say the least. However when Louis graduated his mother had forced him to apply for the stupid scholarship, which he somehow managed to get meaning that his oldest sister, Morgan was left to mother the other 3.

Reluctantly pulling himself from getting lost in his head Louis trudged forward into his flat, ratty duffel slung over his shoulder. The flat hadn't changed over the holidays (not that he'd expected it to) and it was musty as ever, dimly lit, and cold very cold. Louis shivered pushing the thought of coldness to the back of his mind instead moving through the box of a living room to his bedroom. Dumping his duffel at the end of his bed he plopped himself back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling which was dotted with mould. Lying on his bed Louis wondered what the fuck he was doing with his life, he cringed at the thought of how he was going to pay the monthly rent. He also had to keep himself alive with buying food and he didn't even want to think about his desperate need for new clothing. A tear slipped down his cheek as the overwhelming feeling of loneliness consumed him, it gets better right? Life has to get better than this or its not worth staying around for. His mind taunted him with belittling thoughts to which he tried to fight off.

Why is it so dark here? Louis tried to move but he was stuck sinking down into the pool of darkness. No. No he opened his mouth to scream for help for anyone or anything to stop the darkness but no sound left his throat. Suddenly he is hit with the crippling pain of his thoughts pummelling him, "you're not enough", "you're so ugly", "why are you still here?", "No one loves you", "you're unloveable". Louis collapses forgetting about the darkness swallowing him as he claws at his head trying to rid the thoughts. He tries to drag air into his lungs but they are heavy he's drowning, sinking down into the darkness. Its too much. All of it he can't take it anymore the thoughts, the lack of oxygen, he gives into the darkness which swallows him down. Green. The darkness has vanished and all Louis can see is a piercing shade of green that dives down into his soul, and he allows himself to be taken by the green as the pain in his mind disappears. Everything is green, he breaths it in, allowing it to seep into every inch of his body.

Louis wakes alone drenched in sweat in his cold flat. Sitting up and rubbing his eyes he sighs seeing his untouched duffel at the end of his bed he must've fallen asleep staring up at the ceiling. He digs his phone out of his hoodie and sees that its only 3am, he also notices a text, from his flatmate, Zayn. Who says that he'll be arriving around noon, grateful at the prospect of company Louis rolls in his bed and shoves in some headphones and doses off to something other than his own thoughts. 

A/N Hey again! I thought I'd maybe publish this chapter and see if it gets any reads ill make a start on the next chapter. Any thoughts or ideas would be appreciated! I know its a bit slow but I have it planned out dw!!