Save Me and I'll Save You L.S

Chapter 9

A/N Helloooo! Soooo now this has something like 64 reads (not that I'm keeping count or anything ;) But thats over halfway to 100! So like whoop whoop! Again thank you to everyone who leaves such lovely comments! Ok ok heres chapter 9!

Harry

After throwing Louis out of his apartment Harry had been furious, at himself, at Louis, at everything. He shouldn't have given into the temptation of Louis. But it had all been too much, the feeling of Louis body on top of his, the way Louis eyes had been so full of lust and want, and how Louis hands felt when they wove into his curls. Harry wanted Louis so bad. Which was exactly why he couldn't have him. Harry was beyond broken and Louis was a boy, and although Harry had not exactly hated the kiss, Harry just could not be with a boy. At least that was what his father had said, and Harry was to listen to his father, he wouldn't be a disappointment. 

Louis was only ever meant to be a friend. That's why Harry had asked him to be his tutor, he was failing the class and he wanted to be friends, thats it just friends nothing more nothing less. But of course Harry had to go and fuck everything up. So now they couldn't even be that. 

Harry hates emotions. There are so many and they are so consuming. Why is he feeling so much? It never used to be like this but Louis changed that, usually Harry would sleep with whatever girl he wanted and that was that, no emotional attachment. Besides when Harry slept with girls it was fine it was normal he was allowed to do that. But now he had a stupid fucking pretty boy occupying his head space and clouding his every thought. He just had to stop feeling. Just for a little bit, he just needed the emotions to even out a bit. 

One drink. That's all, Harry knew it would take the edge off. It was then when Harry was sat sprawled out on his couch that one drink turned into two which became 5 and then he lost count. But it was ok because now Louis wasn't in his mind, or wait now he was. No. Why couldn't he just fuck off out of Harry's mind? 

The alcohol in Harry's system was starting to overwhelm him, he clawed his head tugging at his curls trying to pull Louis out of his mind. He could feel the alcohol burning in his veins, which was good because thats what he deserved he deserved to be hurting. Now Harry couldn't get enough of the pain he tugged harder at his hair and dragged his nails down his arms it felt so fucking good. Tears streaked down his cheeks and Harry laughed, he actually laughed because now Louis was gone. Everything was gone and now all he could feel was pain. 

The next morning Harry awoke still on his couch with a pounding headache and his vision was rather blurred. Blinking vigorously to try and rid the headache and clear his vision he could feel a dull throbbing pain which he assumed was the alcohol- wait alcohol? Harry started to feel the memory of the previous night return, lips, Louis's lips and...oh fuck, yelling, Louis leaving, drinking, and the pain. 

The pain Harry's heart rose into his throat, now having cleared his vision he looked down at his arms which were caked with blood. He could see jagged ugly lines down his arms which had been stained red. Running a hand through his hair which he realised was knotted with blood and his scalp ached. 

Harry pushed himself off the couch which also had a few splatters of blood on it and headed into his kitchen, chugging a glass of water and some painkillers. He then grabbed some fresh sweats and moved through to his bathroom. He shouldn't have let this happen again. When he caught a glimpse of his reflection he was mortified he looked beyond atrocious, he didn't recognise the stranger staring back at him. The stranger had swollen puffy eyes, matted hair, tear stained cheeks, and arms covered in lines and lines of cuts. After managing to pull his gaze from the stranger in the mirror Harry took a long shower that stung, he watched the water run red as he pulled apart the knots in his hair, and gently washed the crusted blood off his arms. He let the warm water sooth his puffy face and then work out some of the tight spots in his back before getting out and pulling on the fresh clothes.