THE BEGINNING OF THE END L.S

P R O L O G U E

To all the people who are searching for their home..

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Dying was not at all what Harry thought it would be.

He assumed it would be sleepless nights and painful last phone calls filled with regret of the opportunities he did not take in life, and arguments that he would bring with him to the grave.

He did not expect the constant overwhelming crushing fear it brought with it.

He did not expect the constant looking at the clock, checking obsessively how much time he had left.

He did not expect to hate Mondays because he feared that each week would be his last.

He did not expect the pain that came with dying, being able to feel his body slowly shutting down without consent.

He definitely did not expect to come to the point where death was going to be a comfort, because anything would be better than this never-ending pain he was feeling on this hell called earth.

But the thing that he expected the least was the pain it would bring to other people. Because when you think about death, you are selfish, you never think about other people.

He didn't expect the millions of tweets that filled his phone daily with fans begging him to get better (as if he had a choice).

He didn't expect the long meetings that management didn't think he knew about, discussing the strategies for when the five would turn into a four.

He didn't expect the painfully awkward conversations with his band mates in the hospital after an appointment.

He didn't expect his sister calling him almost every hour just to check he was still breathing.

He didn't expect to find his mum sobbing on the living room floor.

Least of all,

He did not expect to find Louis almost dying with him. Not physically, but mentally. Because harry and Louis were like chalk and cheese, salt and vinegar, fish and chips, Ant and Dec. They came as a pair, and one had never before worked without the other.

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There was a first time for everything.

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