It's More of a "Hate, Hate" Thing... (Liam Payne)

Chapter Nineteen: This is Not What We Wanted

Liam’s POV

“I don’t know a Liam.” She spat before disappearing out the back door. I did my best not to scream out and chase after her. I thought about how Dani had tried to get me to go back to London with her when she had left. I had honestly considered going back with her, but I knew I couldn’t. The time I spent with her over the past few days just made me feel way worse than before and I had the small hope that when I got back here, Alex wouldn’t hate me forever and that maybe we could figure out a way to at least be friends. I knew it wasn’t likely, but I couldn’t keep doing this. It was ripping her to shreds just as it was me.

The others kind of froze in shock at her words, all of them staring after her and Zayn rushed to catch up with her. The others just turned to me looking still kind of shocked, but not at all sympathetic. I didn’t blame them. I didn’t deserve any sympathy. 

I just turned on my heels and stormed out of the room, not talking to anyone or waiting to see what they would do or say. I made my way right down the hall and into the guest room, slamming the door behind me. I don’t care if they heard it. I don’t care if they knew I was upset when in their eyes I shouldn’t be. I don’t care about anything right now.

Nothing but her.

I leaned my back against the door and stared blankly at the wall across the room. For once I didn’t hold back the tears that were now pricking at my eyes. One slid out, slowly starting to fall down my face. I closed my eyes, trying to regain my composure, but knowing it wasn’t happening. I felt broken.

Wow, what a manly thing to say.

A girl broke me.

Actually, I broke myself. No matter how much I wanted to get upset or angry at Dani, or management, or the fans for making me feel like I didn’t have a choice in this, I couldn’t. I couldn’t even get mad at Alex, the one who now has me in here with my back against the door and tears falling out of my eyes. She didn’t do this. 

I did.

Knowing I was the one to blame kept haunting me. I never let myself forget it. I was causing all of this. I was hurting her and myself. I was lying to Dani and the fans and the lads. I had become such a horrible person in such a short amount of time it was unreal. 

I let out an angry scream, slamming my fist against the back of the door before I slid to the ground and buried my head in my hands, leaning against my knees as I started to cry harder.

“I love her.” I croaked to no one but myself. “I love her and I made her hate me.” 

Much. Too. Complicated.

Jules’s POV

“I can’t believe you guys are leaving in two days.” Alex said through the silence of the car. I bit my lip, trying my best not to cry. Two days. That’s it. I couldn’t believe it. It seemed so surreal. I can’t believe an entire month has passed, and after they leave, I have no idea when I’m going to see them again. 

I felt a hand touch mine and I turned to see Niall looking down at me, his blue eyes sad and filled with other emotions. I bit my lip. I don’t know what it would be like without Niall. I know I went a while without him here previously, but within the past few weeks it felt like as if he had almost become a life line. It may sound pathetic, but I have grown to like him more than any one else I have ever had feelings for before in just one month. And no, it had nothing to do with the fact that he was Niall Horan, well I mean yeah it did, but I liked him for him, not because he was famous or that stupid celebrity crush that everyone else has on him. I know him for him now, and he is more amazing than I ever thought he would be.