I'll Be Seeing You

Let's Get you home

Oh my word I feel right Tom dick today this sickness just will not go away I sit in front of the fire this cold isn't wanting to beggar off either, my hands busy at knitting more socks for Jimmy if it's cold here it'll be worse down in Portsmouth bless my darling I hate to think of him cold or unhappy I miss him so so much it hurts me but this is how things are with us this is how it has to be. I wasn't the only one some of the girls round here theirs lads were away overseas at least for now Jimmy wasn't so far away but I still wish he were here with me.

"Phoeb's you ere darling" I voice shouts from the back it's Vi "In here Vi" I cal to her "Hello darling how you feeling" she asks me "I feel bloody rotten today" I tell her "Little Jimmy Junior giving you the run around already hey" she smiles at me "what you doing here Vi" I ask her "I wondered if you fancied the flicks tonight" she asks me "Nah, i'm fine thanks but ta for asking" I say "Oh come on Phoeb's you can't keep yourself locked in here forever" she says to me "I'm not I just don't fancy it Vi" I say "But it's Goodbye Mr Chips" she tells me "Come on I'll treat you to a fish supper on our way home gel" well that's done it as I run to the lav and hurl up my guts oh god I feel so rotten I wish Jimmy were here. "Alright no fish" she says as I come back out from the lav and I laugh "Alright, alright I ain't gonna get no peace till I say yes am I" I say to her and she shakes her head "I'll come and pick you up at seven darling" she says and off she skips again.

Later that evening

I'd started to feel a bit better but I still weren't a hundred percent how long would I have to put up with this lark. I pop my navy and white dress on the one that Jimmy liked, it wasn't right going to the cinema without him I always loved it when we went we'd usually go for the first showing in the afternoon cause Dad would never let me miss opening. It was the one place that we could have a kiss and cuddle without being caught the darkness of the cinema shading us from prying eyes I sit back and remember

................."What's the film Jimmy" I ask him as we jump on the bus "The Lambeth Walk Gel its a musical" he tells me as we cosy up on the top deck as we do "Give us a cuddle Phoeb's" she says to me with that cheeky grin "Jimmy you stink of diesel" I say to him although somehow the smell was pretty manly "Oh I know I'm sorry Phoeb's Dad made me fill the bloody buses before I came and there were no time for a bath" he says looking sorry "Its alright I dont mind" I say "I quite like it" I tell him and he smiles "Give us a kiss" he says pulling me closer "You smell of ale" he jokes with me and I laugh "But I like it" he says giving me that wink that he does.

We get to the cinema and Jimmy gets our tickets we head to the back row as we always "Hey Jimmy lad got me eye on you" Jimmy's Aunt says she was one of the usherettes at the cinema "Lovely to see ya Phoebe darling" she says to me "And you"  I say to her "Now behave you two" she jokes with us "Always do Aunty Bess" Jimmy says and she smirks at him. "Come on gel I cant wait to get me hands on ya" he jokes making me laugh I did love my Jimmy. How much of any film we ever actually got to see I don't know in between the cuddling and the kissing and the tickling and Jimmy whispering such sweet things in my ear "I love you in this dress Gel" he says to me "That's why I wear it" I tell him "You're my gel Phoeb's" he says and I nod "One day you'll be Mrs Flanagan" he tells me oh the thought fills me with butterflies........................

"Hello, hello earth to Phoebe hello" Vi Has turned up ready fro us to go "You are in a world of ya own you are gel" she says to me "Sorry Vi" I say "Are you ready" she says to me "Yeah I am" I tell her We head for the bus stop arm in arm. The bus is busy tonight but Vi barges through everyone as she does "Coming through" she shouts "Lady with a baby coming through" she shouts. "Vi" don't shout it all about I say to her. "Why the hell not you're having a baby with your husband ain't ya" she says I just hide in the corner of the bus "Where to gels" the conductor asks "Flicks for two my lovely" she says smiling at the lad she seems very familiar "Did you see the way he looked at you Vi" I say to her "Yeah he's done more than look" she says I must look so shocked "You are awful" I say to her "Just try before you buy darling" she says looking at me "What do ya think Phoebs" she asks "I'm happy with my Jimmy thank you" I say to her and she just smiles "Oh yeah I forgot Jimmy Flanagan Stepney's own Clarke Gable hey" I want to go home I love our Vi don't get me wrong but shes to brash for me sometimes.

I sit in the cinema in silence they play the news reel its all about how the war if going and it frightens me to watch it just reminds me of Jimmy and all he will have to do. Vi has suddenly found herself a friend so is basically ignoring me she really has no shame does she, she was eyeing up the lad on the bus not half an hour ago now shes kissing some other lad in a uniform. I sneak out quietly as I'm on the end of the row she doesn't even notice I've gone and head out into the cold air its biting tonight. Do I get the bus again on my own do I walk I don't know what to do. "Phoebe" I hear a voice shouting me from down the street oh no its my Dad "What the hell are you doing out on your own at this time of night are you stupid" he shouts at me "I'm not on my own Dad Vi is inside. The closer he gets to me It dawns on me that he is drunk "Dad have you been drinking" I say to him "Whats it to you hey why do you care you selfish little bitch" he starts on me making a scene in the street "Who's minding the bar" I ask him "That's none of your business is it. you made your choice beggared off with that good for nothing Flanagan" he says his words so harsh so painful "Where's Mum" I ask "Oh she's alright nice and comfy in her bed ain't she its me that's got to see to everything ain't it now you don't give a damn anymore" he yells at me making me cry "You drove me away" I say to him "I love Jimmy Dad I'm his wife now you can't do anything about it" I say to him "Why you little madame" he says to me grabbing hold of me "Dad please don't" I say to him "I clobbered you once my gel I'll clobber you again" he says pushing me to the floor "Dad please don't I'm pregnant" I cry out there's no one around to help. I spot him taking his belt off oh no please "You're a dirty little whore that's why you married him cause he got you in trouble well you know what I'll teach to speak to your father like that Phoebe O'Connell" and he goes to strike me with it when out of no where comes a voice

"Its Phoebe Flanagan to you" its him its my Jimmy "Jimmy" I whisper as he swipes the belt from Dad striking him with it "I warned you once I won't warn you again you stay away from my wife you animal" Jimmy screams at him as he runs over to me taking me in his arms "Phoeb's" he says his eyes all loving and worried "Well well the bloody wonder boy had your wicked way with her Flanagan then knocked her up didn't you your no better you deserve each other you deserve the little tart" he shouts " That's your daughter you're talking about how dare you call her those things she's nothing like that My Phoebe is a good gel" he says stroking my face and smiling at me "I love her and she's having my baby" he turns to Dad glaring at him "and if you can't handle that then you can piss off you're nothing but a drunken old bully, your nothing " he tells him  "Phoeb's darling are you alright did he hurt you" he asks me wrapping his arms around me "No I'm alright Jimmy you came and saved me" I said as I start to cry "I'm here gel I'm here you're safe now" he says "Darling you're shaking, come on lets gets out of ere" he says to me "What the hell is going on here" Vi says running "Doing a good job of looking after her I see Vi" Jimmy snaps at her looking at her friend "You do realize your one in a long line mate" he says sharply "Phoeb's come on Phoeb's" she shouts after me as we walk away.  "Let's get you home sweetie" Jimmy says to me "Let's get you home