I'll Be Seeing You

Cheek to Cheek

"What time are you going to be back my girl" Dad asks me "By Six Dad like you said I'm not a child you know" I tell him and he gives me that stern look "As long as you live under............" he starts "Under my roof yeah i've heard it all before haven't I" I say "Don't take that tone with me gel" he says "Anyway aren't you a bit over dressed for a public meeting" he says looking at my navy dress with white embroidered roses on the chest "Oh leave her alone for once Eric" Mum says weakly bless her "If you are seeing some lad behind out backs Phoebe......" he starts "She's going with Jimmy ain't she she'll come to no harm with Jimmy" mums says giving me one of those faint smiles I'm sure deep down she knows something. "See you later love" she says to me as I leave and head downstairs grabbing my hat from the hat stand. I pop out through the back yard where Jimmy is waiting by the gate he stands facing the other way so I pinch a few moments to just look at him in his brown pin stripe suit and hat oh could a fella really be that gorgeous and he wanted to take me out as the song goes "boom why does my heart go boom" oh and he's smoking a cigarette somehow making him look even more handsome but my gazing is cut short as he turns to me with that cheeky smile that all the lads round here have but none quite like my Jimmy "Hi Phoebs cor you look knock out gel" he says making me go all silly inside, like a girl as Dad seems to think that I am "Is that a new dress" he says "If only Dad won't let me have new dresses draws attention to myself that's what he says" I tell him "One day darling you are going to have all the dresses you want because I'm gonna buy em for ya" he says the sweetheart he is. "Are you ready" he asks "Yeah" I answer "Come on then sweetie" he says putting his hand out for me "Do you want one" he says offering me a cigarette "Go on I know you wanna gel" he says "Go on then" I say and he lights one for me and we walk down the street holding hands like a couple of kids I just wish it could be like this all the time. We grab the nearest bus jumping up on the top deck looking out over London town sat together so close "You smell lovely Phoeb's" he say nuzzling into my neck as I turn to him "What's up sweetie" he asks "Nothing I just love looking at ya" I say to him and he giggles "Where to kids" the conductor asks us "The Pallaise please mate" Jimmy asks "Tuppence lad" he asks and Jimmy pays him "How's your Mum today" Jimmy asks "Not very good today in a lot of pain" I tell him "I'm sorry darling" he says "But hey I did another job on the quiet yesterday put some more money in the pot won't be long now darling and we can put a deposit down on somewhere" he says this was our plan I would keep all my tips from the pub in a jar too Jimmy saving his extra's so we could get a house together nothing much just a little one up one down would do for now but somewhere that was ours. "That's great Jimmy" I say to him "So why the frown" he says "I just feel sometimes like we will never get there" I start "hey none of that gel, we will I promise our own little place then we will get wed and have a couple of kids everything you always wanted what I want to" he says then holds my chin "But only with you, you're the only girl for me Phoebs you know that don't you" he says "Yeah I do" I tell him "Hey come on this is us" he says as we jump off the bus just down the street from the Pallaise

We walk in and it's like we've walked into another world, no one has a care, most seem older than us married couples well some not as you can see well they are but not to the fella or lass they are dancing with. It shocks me sometimes as to what goes on in the world Jimmy is a little more worldly than me, bit of an innocent I am. "Shall we get a table" he says "Yeah how about over there" I say pointing to a table in the corner always wanting to be hid away just by chance we are spotted and then someone goes back and tells Dad this is crazy I'm twenty three years old Jimmy being a couple of years older but it's still mad keeping our relationship a secret for these passed two years nearly, secret meetings holding hands under the table in the pub or across the bar when no one is looking just because of my bloody Dad but one day he will get a shock he can't stop us.

"Do you wanna dance Phoebs" Jimmy asks "I'd love to" I say as he throws me that smile again and walks me to the floor taking me in his arms

Heaven, I'm in heaven

and My heart beats so I can hardly speak

and I seem to find the happiness I seek

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

"I do love you Phoebs you know that don't you gel" he says in that way he does calling me gel but then I am his gel ain't I "I love you Jimmy" I say to him looking deep into his eyes and I do like crazy I'm mad about the boy have been for years ever since we were kids he felt the same too but we were always afraid to do anything about it, Jimmy had been with other girls but nothing serious but that didn't mean I wasn't insanely jealous of them when he was with them. I'd never had anyone else as I'm sure you can imagine why, they wouldn't get passed the door, Dad had warmed to Jimmy though because him and Jimmy's Dad were good friends and because we'd always known each other I think somehow he had it in his head that we would be nothing more than friends.

These afternoons we shared as snatched and secretive as they were, were everything I could want I looked forward to every single one for just a few hours I could pretend to be the same as any other girl out with her fella like it was normal and meant to be. "You having fun Phoebs" he asks "I always do when I'm with you, you know that" I tell him "Now now whats this then" a voice says coming up from behind us it's Stan one of Dad's regulars "Stan" I say showing my complete surprise "Now Jimmy lad if Eric could see you with your hands wrapped round his Phoebe like this he'd have your guts boy" he says to him "It's not like that Stan really" Jimmy says and Stan just laughs "Look lad your secret is safe with me, there are a few people who's known about you two on the quiet for a while I ain't gonna say a word" he says "Why not Stan Dad's a good mate of yours" I ask him he comes close "because who am I to spoil something that looks so right, you two were made for each other anyone here today can see that" Jimmy just smiles at me then turns to Stan "Thanks Stan" he says "Just be careful both of you I wouldn't want to see either of you get hurt, I've known your Dad for many years and know what he's like" he says "I'll take care of her Stan don't you worry" Jimmy tells him "Right I'm off only come down here to keep the wife quiet, never take me out she moans at me all the time" and we both laugh at him.

I got all shaky all of a sudden wondering if we should go too. "Phoebs whats up" Jimmy asks "Do you think we should go" I say to him "No I don't" he says quite firmly "Like Stan said he won't say anything I'm not letting anyone ruin our time together gel in fact I've a good mind to come to pub tonight and tell your Dad that I wanna marry ya see what they hell he does then" he says "No Jimmy don't darling please" I tell him "But why sweetie what are you so afraid of" he asks "You know that once we tell him we are getting married he will kick me out and I want to have somewhere that we can be together when he does that, that's what we agreed" I say to him "I know sweetie I'm sorry Im just fed up of feeling like we are doing something wrong I want to shout from the root tops that you are my gel and that I love ya" he says "And we will like you said it wont be long with the money we've got" I tell him "Come on lets not spoil things" I say to him "Lets have a drink" I tell him and we head to the bar "A port and lemon and a pint of best please mate" Jimmy asks and pays the barman and we head for our table "Phoebs I wanted to ask you something darling" he asks "Yes Jimmy" I say "I know it'll be hard but I was wondering if there's a way around it you know with your Dad" he says his words very clumsy "What Jimmy" I ask him getting impatient he grabs my hands "I want to spend the night with you Phoebs" he says I swear I gasp out loud "You mean" I say "Yes darling" he says gripping my hands even tighter "But Jimmy you know I haven't......." I start "I know sweetie but I just want to show you how much I love ya " he starts there's a huge part of me that wants to those feelings I get every time he kisses me or he touches me all mean something but he just hasn't mentioned it before I assumed we would you know god I sound like such a stupid kid that we would when we got married. "I uh god I'm sorry Jimmy you've just taken me by surprise" I say "Look Phoebs I know what you're thinking you think we'll sleep together and then I'll bugger off well that's not true I just fancy you summit rotten gel your so sweet so beautiful I wanna make you mine" he says "Oh Jimmy" I gasp as he leans forward and puts his lips to mine kissing me so gently so lovingly as he always does "Think about it Phoebs yeah just say you'll think about it" he asks "I don't need to" I tell him "I want to spend the night with you too Jimmy I do" I tell him he just smiles and then laughs and smiles some more "But I don't know how we can do it" I tell him laughing "We'll find a way gel we'll find a way"