armour (minsung)

chapter 9

pain.

just pain.

it has been roughly 22 hours since i first woke up, but there was nothing much i could fit in those 22 hours. i could not move, i could not listen to music (it hurt my head), nothing to do, except for listening, and occasionally, replying.

jisung has not moved from his place on the couch on the right of the hospital bed, except to go to the bathroom or eat.

he said that he would not go before someone else comes as a guardian, or just to keep me company. it nearly started a brawl between the staff and him, but owing to the fact that i specifically asked him to stay (because i knew my mother was my emergency contact), they let him be.

but although the emotional pain i felt subdued a little due to talking to jisung, ur simply listening to him retelling stories about him and his friends, the physical pain i felt nearly made me cry.

it felt as if every tendon and every ligament in my body was being pulled out, one at a time, and then all my bones were taken out and crushed by rocks.

it hurt.

"min hyung, i was thinking."

"what about, sung?"

"where would you live?"

that put me into thought.

there was absolutely no way that i was going to go back to that godforsaken house.

it was true, it did contain memories from when my dad was around, and when i did call that place home. i had memories from when my mother actually cared about my wellbeing. i had memories from the time when i had a family.

but it also had memories from the past two years of hell. no amount of happiness could cover up the hurt, both physical and mental, i felt in that house, especially when the carpet still had a layer of broken glass bottles on it, and my subconscious made me feel like a deer caught in headlights in there, perpetually.

it was scary to think of.

"honestly speaking, i don't have a place to go now, i have no idea. i don't know what to do."

"you could stay with me. changbin hyung and lix won't mind much. it will be ok."

i hoped so.

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it was new really.

it had always been the three of us.

me. changbin hyung. felix.

thats it.

the house belonged to me, legally at least. and as hyung was already eighteen, and was technically an adult, they let me stay there as long as bin hyung was there a majority of the time.

he'd been thrown out of his house for being gay, and my father had taken him in as well. as if two boys weren't enough. it was not as if he had a choice about whom to love, it was just plain bigotry on his parent's side.

that was two years ago.

and felix had been there for ever. my dad had found him actually, with a card with the words "lee yongbok/ lee felix" stamped onto it, the day after i was born, on the way from the hospital after picking me up to go into my home for the first time, albeit without my mother.

it was nice really.

this house had seen so many things, ranging from the darkest parts of my life, to the happiest days i had ever seen.

hence, minho hyung living there was new.

new, but not unwelcome.

after bin hyung and lix had started dating last year, they had been living in the same room, which was previously my father's.

so minmin hyung was to room with me, for however long he wished to stay with us.

it was nice, really, except for the fact that my midnight shenanigans with chan hyung would be cut down. i don't think minho hyung would appreciate waking up at 3:47 on a monday morning to the sound of me jumping off the tree adjacent to my room to go to the skatepark.

but it was alright.

it was alright, really, as long as we could provide a shelter for him, as long as he was safe and happy.

nothing mattered apart from that.

it would be alright, if it wasn't already.

the day minho hyung was released from the hospital, we drove him to our house in chan hyung's car.

he said that he did not have much to take from his house at that moment, but i knew that it was because of not wanting to step foot in there.

and it didn't matter, because i understood.

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768 words

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i saw that some of you skipped chapter 7 part 1 and i'm thankful that you are taking your mental health seriously, i love you.

i also wanted to address the fact that in the same chapter, minho was referring to jisung using they/them pronouns because someone pointed that out to me in my pm's. do not assume genders even if a person "looks" like a particular gender. all looks are subjective.

yeet