Aries: Has optimized their morning routine with something they call "the breakfast shower"
Taurus: Rises before morn to slay a fattened hog.
Gemini: Several cups of dry cereal ground into a powder and snorted followed by shotgunning a glass of milk.
Cancer: Woke up on the roof again. Breakfast is whichever pigeon is the slowest.
Leo: Random items from the pantry consumed in a hypnagogic trance that doesn't wear off until around 11am.
Virgo: There is no breakfast if dinner never ended.
Libra: Has finally managed to catch and butcher their sleep paralysis demon. Served with eggs and paprika.
Scorpio: Takes another bite out of their edible candy bed and heads out to face another gay little day.
Sagittarius: Eating an energy bar, but staring directly into the sun with hunger and jealousy.
Capricorn: Checks their traps for fresh burgers.
Aquarius: Makes a delicious plate of blueberry pancakes which they feed to the giant coyote that watches them sleep.
Pisces: Makes another pact with the breakfast goblin.
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Zodiac Signs
RandomWhat does your Zodiac do in random situations? Do the stereotypes match you? What random facts will you find out about your Zodiac? Credit goes to all the horoscope/Zodiac pages I follow on Instagram.
