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"I've been by myself for a long time, I just wish that I could know if I was on your mind.."
WARNING: drug use¡ & mature content
Nikki's POV
"Harder." She moaned, her nails digging themselves deeper into my back making me thrust into her deeper.
"Nikki." She moaned my name. I wish it wasn't her saying it.
This feeling was different, not the good different. It didn't feel the same. Nothing felt the same anymore.
I looked down into her eyes, not the eyes of the woman I fell in love with. Instead, the eyes of the cheap stripper that slipped me her number that night when I was trying to drown my sorrows in cheap whiskey and heroin.
"I'm gonna cum." She sighed out, but I didn't say a thing, instead, I let her. Why couldn't I feel this?
-
"So, you'll call me?" Her innocent voice pleaded as she laid her head against the doorframe.
I nodded my head, blantly replying a "Yeah, sure." She furrowed her eyebrows but before she could say anything more, I was moving her out the door and shutting it once she was in the hallway.
I tightened the strings to my sweatpants before running my hands over my face. Why isn't anything helping?
I laid back on my bed, that now reeked of cheap perfume and sex, and closed my eyes while sighing out exhausted.
It's been weeks. Weeks since I've seen her face. Her perfect, beautiful, unflawed face.
How could I have been so stupid?
I reached for my gear and the lighter that always sat on my bedside table. My eyes blankly staring at the open flame that I held beneath the spoon.
Heroin fixed everything. It made me feel a kind of warmth that's undescribable. When I can't have the girl I want, I know I can atleast always have my one true love, heroin. Atleast she never walked out on me.
--Third person point of view--
Nikki knew what he was doing, and not in the way that he could handle something. He knew that Charlie does not want him like this, and he knew it was only a matter of time before she forgot about him and moved on, but hadnt it seemed as if he already had? And that's what hurt him the most.
In the mean time, Charlie was also still going through the pain of losing Nikki even though she enforced it. It still hurt her, and it hurt even more when she would call Tommy or Vince or even Mick and find out that Nikki seemed to have moved on without her. She wondered, "whats the point in even trying to get him back?" There really wasnt one if he seemed to not want her back anyway. But, even through her clouded brain of anger, she still cared about him. She would never want to see Nikki in the state he's in. The one thing she's afraid of though, is having to see him in a casket at such an early age. That's what hurts her the most.
"Charlie?" Faint calls sounded from behind the hotel door making me groan and rip the covers from my body. "What is it?" I frustratingly called back. No answer was replied so I unlocked the door and harsly swung it open.
"Geez, nice to see you too princess." Vince smirked and made his way in, not before giving my ass, that I now realized was not clothed, a smack. I quickly slipped on some grey sweat pants and closed the door behind me. "Vince what do you want?" I stood with my hands crossed and stared blankly at him with sore eyes.
"I was just coming to check on you, make sure you know you havent uh," he made a clicking sound and moved his hand against his neck as if to say, bit the dust. "Um, no I am not dead yet thank you for checking on me, now leave." I pointed to the door.
He pouted and gave the biggest dough eyes anyone could muster. I groaned and crawled into bed, "Fine, stay I dont care." He shook his head and pulled the comforter off of me, "No, you have to get up Charlie its," he looked down at his watch, "three fucking o'clock."
"I dont care." I mumbled into my pillow.
"Well you should care," I furrowed my eye brows but before I could, he gave a ear bleeding whistle and signalled for Tommy to come in.
Tommy unlocked the door, which I don't know how because only I have the key but at that point I didnt really care anymore.
He strolled in and when he saw me, his face fell into a frown. I knew Tommy cared for me a lot which is what hurt me. "Charls," he sadly mumbled, pulling me out of the bed, my feet leaving the floor, and holding me against him like a mother would her baby.
I couldn't help but to let a few tears stain his white tshirt as I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed in his cologne. Just the feeling of a mans warm embrace, and especially the bestfriend of my heart, was just so over whelming.
He finally set me down and allowed me to wipe my tears away. "Cheer up Charls, were taking you somewhere today." Tommy began to smile and gave fake little punches to my shoulder.
"And where would that somewhere be?" Vince and Tommy looked to each other before looking back at me.
I knew I should have never let them in. The one place I didn't want to step foot on, I was currently standing in front of. And that place was Nikki's apartment.
.
.
(A/N dun dun dun, lmao thank you for reading i love you all so much and thank you for all being so patient. Ive been drowning in school work right now and I just havent had the time to do anything but i did it today! haha anyways please tell me your thoughts, what do you think will happen?? stay tuned -D🖤
