My letter to you

Why? Why? Why?

Why? Why don't I have any memories with you? Why do I keep forgetting you? Why do you keep disappearing from my mind? Why does your existence slip my mind each day? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why is everything so blurry when I think of you? Why? There's no memories with you... no moments, nothing. You just exist but in my world it's as if you never stepped foot into my life.

Why do you escape my mind each day? Why are there so many questions and no answers? Why is this damn wall that separates us so high and steep? Why is it as if your purposely locking me out?

Why aren't you giving me any reasons to stay? WHY DO I KEEP ASKING YOU QUESTIONS KNOWING YOU WON'T ANSWER?! Why do I keep doing this to myself? It hurts.. so much... so damn much... no reasons and no answers hurt so much more than reasons to leave and answers as to why I should stay... I don't want this to hurt so much.

You just stood there, you've always just been standing there. Never moving. Even when I was breaking and my world was being torn apart by the darkness you stayed in that spot, standing there, doing absolutely nothing.

Why? Was it because you didn't want me to depend on you? Was it because you didn't know how to? Why? Give me a reason why.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? WHY?! WHY?! WHY IS IT SO QUIET WHEN YOUR HERE?! I DONT WANT TO HEAR SILENCE!! but with you it's like your forcing me to do things I don't want to.

You force me to listen to the silence, you force me to watch my world fall apart, you force me to seek answers. You force me to hurt worse than I already do.

So why? Why are you doing this? Why do you only exist in my world when it's suitable for you? Why does this wall only dissappear for a few seconds? Why? Why are there no reasons? Or answers? Why are there more questions each day?