Double Vexation ( A Harper's series. book 11)

Boiling Point

A week has went by since I had a poor lapse in judgment and left that pathetic message with Duel. I guess that deep down I wanted him to reply or something but I shouldn't have expected him to. Duel walked away from what I thought we had at one time guilt free and left me to clean up the mess and scars. Yea, I did get my answer, my closure. After all no reply is a reply... My answer. I was just a good time to him.. Nothing more, nothing less.

Still, I don't understand why after all of this time it still bothers me. I'm angry that I didn't get to yell at him, throw thing's and make him suffer as I had suffered. Why to guy's do this? Why to they awaken your feelings knowing that they aren't going to be around for long? Why do they lead you to believe that they care about you? Oh, Duel was good at it, real good. The way he looked at me like I was the center of his world or the way he would hold me close and whisper "I love you" as his warm breath caressed my neck igniting so many emotions at once. The many night's we stayed up until dawn discussing our future plans, insecurities or just not needing word's at all. Just us sitting beside each other was all the conversation we needed.

He talked of his future plans as if I was going to be right there with him. He told me about his failures and insecurities but now I question if any of it was true. After all he kept so many thing's from me. Maybe it was all part of the game. Did he ever feel any remorse about what he was doing to me? Did it not bother him? No decent human could treat someone like this. Was Duel really that bad but I was so love sick that I couldn't see it? Or just didn't want to believe it? My friends warned me as well as my parent's but I saw the good in him or so I thought.

One thing is certain, I can't wed Preston right now. No, I no longer love Duel but I'm not over the mess he left behind for me to deal with alone. My head needs to be clear before I make such a big commitment. Even though Preston is giving me the cold shoulder because I called off the wedding I'm sticking to my guns. I need to work through my issues before I drag someone into my mess.

No, I'm not breaking up with Preston but we rushed into this. I think it's best if we really get to know everything about each other before we attempt marriage. Jensey has been so busy lately with some new boy toy so I can't even vent to her. But it's funny, I'm so wrapped up in wanting to make Duel answer to me for what he did that I'm not even worried anymore about him seeking me out to cause harm. In a way I want him to. I know that sounds sick but I've daydreamed about it several time's.... What I would say or do.

I'm not even concerned about his lovely wife Zoe and her threats. She has him now. He wanted her all along. Why is she so worried about me? Like I could steal him away from the girl of his dreams? It feels good in a way, to know that I bother her just a bit but not as much as she bothered me when I had Duel for that small amount of time.

Enough was enough. I've sat here in this cafe long enough dwelling on it all. I picked my phone up and tried to call Preston again but like my last several calls it went right to voicemail. I wanted to go to dinner with him so we could discuss us and possibly go back to being happy again but obviously he's still steaming.

Refilling my paper cup at the drink station I stepped outside. The rain from this morning had finally moved out and the sun was peeking from behind the clouds. A warmth was in the breeze hunting that spring was on the way. Not wanting to return home just yet I decided to take a stroll through central and try to enjoy this refreshing weather.

My mind wandered as I walked and I hadn't really paid attention to the route I was taking. I had led myself deep into the center, a place I had been warned not to go. A lot of crimes took place here and it was a hotspot for the homeless. As I turned back around to walk out something familiar caught my eye. It was him. I could spot that walk and black leather jacket anywhere. Once again my off beat judgement kicked in and I begin to follow him from a distance. He was heading deeper into the wooded part of the park and I just knew he was up to no good and I just had to know what it was.