Double Vexation ( A Harper's series. book 11)

Realization Vs Expectations

Everyone has a favorite spot that they steal away to when shits been rough right? It just so happens that my favorite place to unwind and think is in the heart of the city. It's not beautiful but to me it is. In fact most would think it dirty and dangerous.. Okay, I'll admit it does have a musty, stale odor  but I can be truly alone here... Well except for a few rats that scurry about and an occasional homeless bum it's just me.

Yes, I know it's odd especially for a girl. Most find their inner peace in a garden or Sandy shore but not me. My best kept secret is this dank alley way. Finding a tossed out slab of cardboard I take a seat and set for hour's sometimes just thinking. No, I'm not scared, people should be scared of me, with all my training and mafia instincts I'm not an easy feat... I just wished I could say the same for my love instincts.

There is a special reason why this is my peaceful spot. As teens Duel and I would hang out here drinking and getting high not to mention causing trouble. This was before I started pulling away from him and our friendship. We'd set for hour's just talking junk and having those deep conversations that wouldn't make sense to outsiders. It was then that I started falling for him and I believe the same of him but life happened.

My parent's took notice of the time I spent with him and how we carried on and wasn't too happy about it. Eventually they sat me down for a long chat explaining why Duel and I wasn't such a good idea. Don't get me wrong, they love Duel as much as their own children but they was worried that eventually it could stir family trouble. Little by little I started to inch away from Duel following my parent's instructions. As we grew older I guess you could say I matured faster than Duel. His once cute antics now annoyed me. He was such a child and the way he chased after me begin to become irritating. I still had feelings for him, I just needed someone more responsible and adult acting. Yea, I know I chose wrongly and learned a hard lesson. Just because a man can seem charming, responsible and everything you crave doesn't mean that a snake isn't lying in the depths of his soul.

By the time I realized my copper boyfriend was a fraud it was too late. At first I noticed how Duel never contacted me anymore and it worried me. Had I finally pushed him away? So I got in touch with him but he acted different then I learned of Chelly. I didn't like it in the least but still I wasn't worried. No way could Duel choose anyone over me. He'd already vowed his love to me on numerous occasions. However he became even more distant so I decided a surprise trip. Yes, I did need his help concerning my copper boyfriend but I was more interested in this girl he seemed so ingrossed by. I assumed that once I showed up she'd be history and I'd have Duel's affection back. Boy was I fooled. Duel rejected me. Yes, that hurt but what could I do about it? When I met Chelly I couldn't help but to mentally compare us. She seemed the too sweet and innocent type. She wasn't Duel's type for sure. I've seen the type he normally cozies up to and it wasn't her. He like loud, obnoxious and rowdy girl's. This Chelly came off like an angelic glow and the way he looked at her made my stomach twist. She was definitely not like me or of our lifestyle.

I had already planned on asking Duel to help me with my copper boyfriend problem but a new plan had hatched as well. I just knew once we handled my boyfriend together and I had him back home away from that town and that girl the old flame would ignite. Us working together to take out my ex would remind him of our old day's when we worked together on thing's and he'd see that I was still his one. However I didn't expect the cop to be so clever and our plan backfire.

Then I was lucky enough to escape as well as Duel. When we met back up everything had changed about him. This incident made him grow up and gave him this take charge attitude that I liked very much. He told me about his run in with Chelly and how she turned him in to the cop's. At first I was sad that out of everyone he searched her out first but my heart did cartwheels at his newfound hate he proclaimed to have for her now.

We started making plans and setting goals like strong couples do but I always had this nagging feeling that deep down he still thought about Chelly but I refused to listen. As long as he wasn't bringing her up or trying to hunt her she didn't exist. So I went into this marriage convincing myself that he loved me as much as I loved him. Of course I felt safer being his wife also and I was proud of the man and king he was becoming.

But now.... Now I see that I was lying to myself. Duel only hated Chelly because she hurt him badly. More than likely it wasn't true hate, just anger and pain talking. But I do know he's lying to me. Duel doesn't love me, in fact if I'm totally honest he probably doesn't even want to be married to me. I was just someone to fill his void, cover up his pain and try to convince himself that he was over Chelly. If he truly loved me there would be no other women. I'd be enough.

Right now I only have a few choices. Admit defeat and ask for a divorce or stay in this loveless, lonely marriage that is only making the both of us miserable. Or I could hunt Chelly myself, kill her and end the competition but I can't do that for many different reasons. First if Duel found out there's no telling what his reaction would be. Second I'm not that type of woman. Yes, I don't like it and perhaps I hate Chelly but I refuse to fight over a guy who doesn't want me. Besides it's not her fault.

Swiping the tears from my face only made me angrier at Duel. Typically I don't cry and I hated for crying now. Standing up from my cardboard seat, I held my head high. It's been three day's since I walked out on Duel and I haven't seen nor spoken to him since. I needed a break and time to think. Now I know what I needed to do.

It wasn't long before I strode into the apartment we shared. Duel was on the couch playing video games but stopped once he saw me. "Zoe, where have you been? I was worried" .

Nodding toward the game system I snorted. "Yea, sure looks like it".

He tried to give me a sympathetic look but he couldn't get over on me anymore. "Save it. I came here to say something and I'm going to do just that. We should get a divorce" .

"What?" Duel screeched getting up from the couch .

Not allowing him to speak further I said. "We are both miserable and it's obvious you can't love me like I deserve. Besides it will please the family".

" But I don't want to Zoe. I know I screwed up but give me another chance. I'll be better". He tried to reason.

"Why Duel? Because you do love me? Or because you don't want to hear your father say I told you so?" I snapped.

" You know I love you. Look, just put me on probation. Give me six month's. If you're still not happy or convinced I'll go through with it". He suggested.

I thought for a moment and crossed my arm's over my chest. "You have six month's and if you screw up before then I'm walking. "

Without another word I stomped to the bathroom for a long, relaxing bath. No way will he make it six month's. At this point I don't believe a damn thing that comes from his mouth.

Why do you think Duel asked for six month's?

Will he screw up before six month's is over?

How do you feel about Zoe now?

Do you think Zoe will change her mind and hunt Chelly?