The Truth That Lies (WangXian Modern AU)

01

Strike a match, sleep with ghosts,
Make you recall me, and then I start to choke.

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Wei Ying

There was a time when little things like a piece of a song, some notes in a new order, or a rainy day with a loved one, could excite me. When I felt that I could leave the pain behind because the euphoria was so strong that I simply forgot about it. The highs were so high that the lows felt nothing.

I burned too bright, now the fire has blown out. That time is long gone.

As if that was trying to mock me, here I am, staring at the band playing on the stage, as I sip my drink, trying to push away the memories of the time we owned it. Now all the voices had become monotonous in my ear, all the chords sounded the same; the passion I once loved was now struck by an undefined hatred.

When did my life become this dull? That was the very question I need answers for.

I look around the crowd and spot Jiang Cheng –my cranky idiot of a brother– on the dimly lit dance floor with his fiancé Wen Qing, slowly swaying together to the song the band exclusively played for them. Maybe it was his instincts; our gazes meet. I raise my glass at him with a smirk. He quickly looks away; I'm sure he just blushed.

I keep on swaying my glass on the counter, I just want to get out of this place and sleep. The only thing that kept me on my seat was the drink. I've always liked its effect, the haze was nice.

"No company?" a voice—a little rough female one—asks, breaking me from my trance.

I look up. She was wearing a bit too much make-up with long brown hair in a tight-fitting black dress; a regular customer. Nothing struck me, but she has been eyeing me since I came here.

I was aware of the regret I'd feel, but my mind was telling me, Wouldn't hurt to try again, would it?

"Oh, I have," I reply flashing my smile at her. "But not as good as this."

She chuckles, taking the seat next to me. "Neither is mine." She holds her hand out. "Ruo."

"Xian," I reply. I take her hand, but instead of shaking it, I bring it to my lips.

She smirks at my gesture.

We talk for a while, dropping information about our lives, careful not to speak too much, and careful to not seem less interesting. Somewhere in the conversation, she keeps her hand on mine, and now she was drawing circles on the back of it with her fingertips. As much as I wished it did, this blunt display of desire meant nothing to me.

But, desperation makes you do even the last thing you think you'd do. I was desperate to feel that particular warmth in my heart again. So I waited –with a patience that I didn't really need– hoping that it'll magically appear one day.

Except that it had been a while since I scattered my belief of it.

I'm brought back to Earth feeling my cuff slowly being undone –she must have noticed my drifting away– and she starts massaging my wrist.

"Is going wild a part of your plan for tonight?" she softly asks.

"I could make it a part of the plan," I reply.

She comes closer. "How wild would that be?"

"As wild as you want to," I say before she kisses me. I kiss her back waiting for that spark to burn, for something to be awakened. But it never did. It never had for so long.