This story is about y/n who joins Hogwarts in year 4 and struggles to find her identity and become more then her traumatic past.
WARNING- this is a smut fan fiction so it does contain very graphic sexual scenes and also a lot of possibly triggering...
Y/n pov: Leavening everything behind as if my life before meant nothing to me. My friends, the rest of my family. I had to turn my back on them with out even blinking an eyelid. The age in which I was meant to attend Hogwarts is when she did it, I was 11 years old. 11 years old when my mother killed herself.
My aunt and the rest of my family blamed it on my father, he was a drunken, good for nothing, low life. They say my mother could have achieved greatness if it wasn't for her falling in love with my father.
so they resented him for that exact reason. I think she was a coward. don't get me wrong I loved my mother dearly but to ruin and then later take your own life for the sake of love? That was something only cowards dared to dream of.
I was the one who found her you know, at 11 years old. She slit her own throat on our porch at noon watching the sun rise. Of corse my father never stirred from his sleep till mid day. I was supposed to attend hogwarts 2 weeks after that morning. Obviously I couldn't, my father wanted me to go to Ilvermorny where he attended, I never even gave his idea a second thought. honestly it was ridiculous for him to even suggest.
I had to attend hogwarts just like my mother did. She was a ravenclaw, stunningly beautiful and overwhelmingly cleaver. That's where I'd like to think I get my intelligence from and after all I didn't mind the colour blue. I'm now 15 and have been home tutored by a professor Snape. apparently he was quite take with my mother, well I mean everyone was. Unfortunately for Mr snape my mother only had eyes for my father but was always there for her when my father was being unbearable.
Because of this I've never been sorted into a house or even stepped foot into hogwarts. My pure blood status meant it was in my best interest to still live in the wizarding world so I've seen students all from the ages of 11 to 18, wether it's Slytherins picking fights with Gryffindors at 'the three broomsticks' or Hufflepuffs playing pranks on Ravenclaws out side the joke shop 'Weasley wizard wheezes' , I watched them and I envied them. They were deemed mentally stable enough to attend classes. I was mentally stable but they were worried with my short temper and tragic loss of my mother I'd lose it and Avada kedavra someone if I didn't take time to emotionally heal. I didn't choose to find my mothers lifeless body so why was I left out all these years because of that.
Finally standing on the platform. Platform 9 and 3/4, I've dreamed of this moment for so long. I could feel the sweat on my palms lubricate the handle of my case. The wind sending chills up my arms from the lack of clothing. I'm wearing an olive coloured cropped cardigan and a white pleated skirt with white trainers.
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It's a lot sunnier where I live if I had known it would be so fucking cold I would have at least grabbed my jacket, but the rest of my belongings are already in my private room at hogwarts (perks of having a rich father and dead mum sympathy is getting a private room I guess).
The platform was crowded with all aged students, the younger ones with parents and massive metal trolleys and my aged students and older in groups of friends hugging and pouring love into each other's smiles. It's gonna be hard starting in year 4 everyone's already known each other for so long. The fear of rejection creeps up my back making me straighten my posture as if to radiate confidence.
