Warriors #3: Shifting Shadows

Chapter 9

Goldenshine's POV

I froze as Firestar's bright green gaze burned into mine. And in a way, I had never felt more terrified in my life as I awaited to see how much trouble I was in. Why be scared of taking on badgers or chasing off foxes, when you could be up awake at night fearing a stern talking to from your leader?

My ears grew extremely hot and my paws shifted back and forth nervously as Firestar began to speak. "Goldenshine, what are you doing here with this WindClan cat?" Firestar asked, not averting his gaze even a little bit.

"The 'WindClan cat' is named is Breezepelt, thank you," Breezepelt muttered, just loud enough for Firestar to hear.

I tried to suppress a whimper of distress. "What are you doing here?" I blurted out, not realizing that I was speaking to the ThunderClan leader. I found that I was extremely upset that Firestar had interrupted the amazing time I had been having with Breezepelt, and I suddenly wasn't thinking rationally. The Goldenshine watching me from the outside would have thrown me against a tree, shocked at my idiocy.

"I was talking a night stroll," Firestar answered evenly, seeming to ignore my harshness. "What's more important is the reason why you are here."

I let out a stressed-out sigh, and my gaze met Breezepelt's as I looked back at him. His eyes were filled with both love and anger at once. It was so hard to see, but also so difficult to look away from. I then tried to think of what to say to explain myself, and then stepped forward to face Firestar. As I met the leader's gaze once again, I suddenly was overwhelmed with guilt. Yes, I didn't regret meeting with Breezepelt, and I enjoyed our time together so much... shockingly, but nevertheless, the seething gaze that the leader was giving me suddenly made me question it.

"I'm so sorry, Firestar!" I meowed, trying to suppress a whimper. "This is the first time we've ever done this, and I know it is against the rules, but we aren't hurting our Clans at all!"

"Goldenshine," Firestar said, raising his voice, "Meeting with cats from other Clans is highly against the warrior code. Doing this, you are betraying your Clan."

And he's right, I told myself, hanging down my head and my mind suddenly spiraling. What have I been thinking? What happened to me? Just moments ago, I had been upset that Firestar had walked in on my time with a WindClan warrior, but the more that he spoke, the more that I finally saw sense. Why had I met with Breezepelt? Yes, he was fun, and exciting and kind, but why had I cared so much? I should have shoved those feelings down and forgotten about him forever, but I hadn't. I had let my feelings get the best of me.

Which... I suppose they always do in a way. That's why I escaped the camp with Snowflight when I was a kit, why I drove myself to train as best I could as an apprentice, and why I leaped into those tunnels after Hollyleaf... I thought. This time, it just happened to cause me to do something that really, really got me in trouble.

I dipped my head, knowing that every word the ThunderClan leader said was true. The Goldenshine that was watching me be ridiculous from the outside has now returned to home base. "I am so, so sorry," I repeated hoarsely.

"'Sorry' doesn't fix what you've done," Firestar pointed out. "You are to never meet with Breezepelt again, and as punishment for breaking the warrior code, you are to do all of the apprentice duties for a moon."

That's what I deserve.

I sniffed as Firestar started to walk away. "You may say your good-byes to Breezepelt, but you must never meet with him again." Just as he finished his sentence, he disappeared into some brambles, and his footsteps became quieter and quieter the further away he got.

I listened to the sounds of the ThunderClan leader fall quiet before turning to Breezepelt, whose eyes were filled with hurt. My eyes clouded and I twinned my tail with his, knowing that I was going to do what Firestar had told me to. I had to say goodbye.

"I can't believe your leader is making us do this!" Breezepelt's voice croaked with emotion. "I care about you so much, Goldenshine. I don't want to lose you now!"

I smiled weakly as I stared back at the WindClan tom, almost is if to help me power through the situation. I had to force my words out from how overwhelmed with sadness I was. "I feel the same way, Breezepelt," I whispered, wincing as I almost thought I felt a physical pang of sadness. "This is... so, so hard..."

At this point, it doesn't matter of the choices I made. It's already done, but I can't help but wonder... how do I have such strong feelings for a cat I just met?

We put our heads together and stayed there for quite a long time, the crickets chirping quietly and the stream flowing close by as we drank in each other's scents. Then, after several heartbeats, Breezepelt let out a shaky sigh and then lifted lifted his head to looked up at the sky. I took a deep breath, preparing for what I knew he was going to say.

"It's nearly dawn," he realized, beginning to back away. "I-I should go." he forced out, acting as if he had just told a cat that it was okay for them to kill his mother right in front of him. Breezepelt then looked down to the ground and murmured, "Bye. I'm praying to StarClan that this isn't the last time we see each other..."

"Me too. Maybe at a Gathering sometime?" I agreed, feeling as if my heart was being ripped out from inside of me from how much pain I was in. "Bye," I then meowed, sighing and taking a step back. This is what you need to do. Stop being so sad!

I watched sadly as Breezepelt walked slowly past some bushes before trudging across the stream.

Without looking back at me, he then hopped out of the water and ran into WindClan territory.