The Contract

29

"Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you

I said Georgia, oh Georgia
No peace I find
Just an old sweet song
Keeps Georgia on my mind."

I could hear him singing through the door. I hesitated, not wanting to ruin the song but knowing we needed to have this conversation and also knowing that I could listen to him sing for me anytime I wanted. He was going to be all mine soon.

I knocked softly on the door and Louis appeared, letting me into his room just the way he had let me into his heart, warm and welcoming and constant.

He offered me water or a glass of wine and I took him up on his offer of wine when I saw a bottle of white wine chilling on the dresser in his room. I noticed it had already been opened when he pulled the cork out of the top and poured some into a glass for me.

"Thanks." I sipped the wine, letting the chilled Pinot course past my lips, down my throat and cool me off a bit. It also helped to settle my nerves a bit which had become more existent since I realised I was now alone with Louis and I could put off this conversation no longer.

We sat opposite each other on his bed and I made a note to stop spending so much time in hotel rooms from this point on. I felt like since I had been on tour with the boys, I had done nothing but mope in my room or spend my time in my room with a boy. It was a never ending cycle and we all saw how that had worked out for me so far.

I heard Louis clear his throat and realised I had been lost in thought. "Sorry."

He smiled softly. "It's okay. Whenever you're ready, Gee."

I swallowed another sip of my wine before setting it on the table next to the bed. "I'm ready now. I'm ready for this. I'm ready for us to be something more than what we are now. I'm ready to take that leap with you and to make something happen between the both of us. I'm ready to fall for you even more than I already have. I'm ready, Louis. If you'll have me."

He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. "I'm ready for that too, Gee. But how can I know that you're not going to drop me in a week or a month or even a few months if things don't go the way you want them to? I don't want to sound like an asshole but you don't have the best track record with guys. I mean, when you and Harry started the challenge, you made it a game to get to me. I was supposed to come out the winner from that and I didn't. When you changed things around and started to have feelings for Harry and me at the same time and told us both we had a chance at your heart, you ended up breaking mine then. When you picked Harry, and told me to go to Paris with someone I loved, well, I gave those tickets to my sister because I already went to Paris with someone I loved. You. I supported you when you decided to take the job with us and tried to be your friend when you and Harry were going through a fight or something hard. I was the best man in your wedding to him! I had a threesome with the two of you and I was there for you when he broke your heart when he cheated on you and there for you when he blamed you for losing the baby and even there for you when he tried to win you back. But have you noticed the trend? I've always been second best. You always pick him over me. You only ever want me when he doesn't want you. How can I know that you're not going to drop me the minute he comes back with some romantic gesture or does some grandiose declaration of love to win you back? You know he's going to try. There's no way he's going to succeed to me and let me have you. He's going to do everything in his power to try to win you back. Can you honestly look me in the eyes right now and tell me you won't hurt me? Tell me that this is it? This is our chance at happiness? That you want to be with me? That you love me?"

I reached out for his hands and clasped them in my own. "I do. I do want you. Harry, I'm done with him. We can't be together anymore. I can't let myself be with him. He does nothing but hurt me. Louis, every time he heals a little bit of my heart, he lets me down again, causing a new crack to happen. A bigger one. And I've used so much sellotape already trying to get over him and I keep letting him back in. I just can't do it anymore. I really can't."