The Contract

18

I could feel my resolve beginning to grow weaker, even if only by a little bit. Despite the pain I had felt myself attempt to deal with over the last week or so, I didn't think anything would be able to heal me until Harry had showed up at my door. I had fallen asleep instantly when he had wrapped an arm around me. I heard his light snoring the next morning when I woke up and felt at peace for a moment until I remembered everything. It was almost like waking up from a bad dream except everything in my dreams was the good part and my nightmares were actually my real life. Even his touch though, something so simple as that. His arms wrapped protectively around me, the natural fit of my body against his made me feel like something had to give. It almost reassured me that everything maybe, would work out. Maybe we were supposed to be together. Maybe.

"Are you awake?" I heard Harry's deep and raspy voice in my ear.

"Yes," I replied. I resisted the urge to snuggle myself deeper into his embrace but I let my guard down even further when I decided not to move from bed yet.

"This is nice. I missed this. I missed you, Georgia," he said sighing and tightening his hold on me.

"I don't know how I feel about this, to be honest," I said quietly. I had been keeping my feelings to myself for the past week and that didn't seem to be getting me anywhere. Maybe laying them out to him would help me make sense of everything I was feeling. Maybe it would help us work through things or find an ending that satisfied the both of us.

"Tell me, baby, I'm listening." Harry pressed a kiss to my cheek and I shivered slightly from the feel of his wet lips on my skin. The simplest touch from him still ignited a fire inside of me but it was quickly stamped out at the thought of him doing the same thing to someone else.

"I'm so torn, I," I shifted slightly, rolling over to face him and giving us some distance between the both of us. "I miss you so much on one hand but on another hand I despise you. I don't want anything to do with you and I want everything to be about you. I get so mad at myself every time I find myself missing you but I can't go a day without thinking of you and wondering where you are when you're not near me. I want you to hold me while I fall asleep and tell me everything's going to be okay but then I wake up in the morning sick to my stomach. Literally sick, Harry with the thought of you doing that to someone else. I find my resolve growing thin, even now, with you this close to me but then it all gets cancelled out when I think of you doing it to someone else. I find myself constantly being drawn back to square one and that's hating you all because you cheated on me, Harry."

I watched Harry take in everything I had said. It felt good to get it all of my chest and I didn't feel like I had the weight of the world of my shoulders anymore but looking across from me, the guy who proclaimed to be so in love me now looked like he did. His lips were frowning and his disheveled hair was pushed back from his face. His green eyes were lacking the glow they normally had.

"I don't know what more I can say on the situation other than I'm sorry, Georgia. I really don't," he said, sighing.

"Tell me about it," I asked, cringing internally. Did I really want to hear about this? If I knew about her, who she was, the insignificant details than maybe that would help me come to terms with everything. I didn't want to let go of Harry. But I might have to.

"Georgia," he said quietly, "I don't think me telling you about it is going to help," Harry said softly. He reached his hand up to caress my cheek and I flinched at his touch.

"This is what I mean, Harry, I can't help but think of you with someone else every time you are near me. This kills me Harry. I am so hurt by you. I should have been enough, Harry. Why wasn't I enough?" I heard my voice crack and buried my head in the pillow, trying to compose myself. I was tired of being so weak in front of him.