The Contract

58

I couldn't sleep at all. I must have tossed and turned all night while Harry slept peacefully next to me. Unknowing and unaware of my secret.

I needed to get out of this room. I couldn't stand staring at the hideous floral printed wallpaper and I got tired of counting each gold fleck on the crown moulding on the ceiling. Even the dark burgundy carpet was beginning to bother me.

I couldn't cry because I had no pity for myself. I should have known something like that would happen. I should have known something would come of that. Jasper was the type to hold onto something like that until the right moment in time. I couldn't really fault him though. He knew just how to get me. He always did.

"Morning," Harry said sleepily from next to me in the bed. He rubbed his eyes and rolled over to check his phone. "It's only seven, baby, why are you awake?"

I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep."

"Come here," he sat up and put his arm around my shoulders but I flinched when he touched me, keeping my arms wrapped around myself.

He moved back from me and glanced at me curiously. I could see the hurt flicker in his eyes. "What's wrong? Did I do something last night?"

My sweet, thoughtful Harry. Your ability to be so unselfish amazes me.

I shook my head no.

"Then what's wrong? Why are you being so distant.. And so cold?"

"I want to go home. I don't like it here. I just want to go home."

"Okay," Harry said, nodding. "We'll go home. I'll get everything ready."

I watched him get everything together and I could feel him retreating from me, getting lost in his own head. This isn't how I wanted to spent the first day of the rest of our lives together. This isn't how I wanted to start my married life with Harry. I couldn't even start my married life to Harry until I told him about everything.

I let Harry take control of everything, checking us out of the hotel and calling a taxi for us to go back to our house in. Our lives were so intertwined now, there was no way he would leave me over all of this, would he?

Flashback

"Georgia! What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?" Jasper shouted at me, his words slurred slightly.

20 year old Jasper French was everything I wanted and nothing I needed. With his long, blonde hair and his deep, brown, puppy dog eyes he was that type of beautiful that made you feel like you and him were the only two people on the planet. But he loved alcohol a little too much, too. He slammed his glass down on the counter, causing me to flinch.

"I'm leaving you, Jasper. For good. I can't do this anymore. You need help. You.." I sighed. "You aren't the person I fell in love with."

He scoffed and poured more alcohol into his glass. "You never loved me. You loved the idea of me. You only wanted a way out of town.. An escape from your old life."

His words were painfully true. When I had found out my boyfriend at the time and my best friend were sleeping together, I wanted an out. I wanted a way out of my life, out of my town and away from everything that had kept me tied to those painful memories.

Jasper was my distraction. He was my ticket. He was my one night stand turned long term affair until before long, I became his crutch. Our roles had reversed and I found myself taking care of him more than he was taking care of me.

He said he loved me. I.. Had thought I had loved him. I thought us getting married would maybe save things, would make them better. And it did, but only for a short time. Before long, Jasper was back to his old ways.. And it wasn't long after that I found him cheating on me.. And I knew I needed to get out. This wasn't the right place for me to be in. This wasn't healthy for me. I needed to be on my own.