** TRIGGER WARNING **
'stop staring at me.'
'stop staring at me.'
'stop fucking staring at me!'
el pulls her hood up walking through the hallways of hawkins high. everyone was staring at her and her arms. her arms weren't even out in the open!
'can everyone just stop staring at me!?'
"they're not staring." mike whispers cutting el out of her thoughts
she gives him a glance before walking faster to her locker, "i-i was thinking we could hang after school." he suggests, following after her
"no." she replies quietly
"o-okay, that's okay." he mumbles, she's pushing me away, he thought
"you have that math test, i could help you study." he suggests as she closes her locker softly
"i'll fail anyways, what's the point?" she whispers, starting to walk off as he follows
"you'll never be able to push me away." he reminds her
she doesn't reply, hugging her torso as she bites down her bottom lip.
"hey...." he hugs her, "i love you, i won't leave so don't leave me either." he whispers into her hair
"i can't promise you anything." she mumbles, pulling back, "i love you, i'm sorry." she walks away
he sighs, watching her walk away sadly.
el walks to a bathroom, making sure no one was in it before she sits on the floor against the wall.
"fuck." she buries her hands in her hair, pulling onto it
her chest started to feel heavy and her breathing started to grow uneven as she clutched her chest with one hand to make the burning stop.
she shoves her other hand into her bag and pulls out her pills before staring at it for a few seconds.
she sighs, taking the cap off and pouring a bunch onto her palms.
don't do it, el.
do it.
don't do it!
it'll end all of this.
but i can't leave my friends.
who cares. this is for you!
don't.
for once in your life, put yourself first!
put myself first. put myself first.
she slowly brings the pills to her mouth as she shakily puts them in her mouth.
suddenly the door barges open and el swallows the pills as quickly as possible but since there was a lot it took a while.
"el?" max whispers, "what are you-" she cuts herself off once she sees the pill bottle next to her and her struggle to swallow, "el, spit it out, now!" max rushes over to el
"el, spit it out before you regret it. shit, stand up." max tugs on el's arm but she doesn't stand up
"el, please. if you don't throw it up now i'll have to carry you to the hospital. throw it up, you're gonna regret it, i swear. please." max pleads as el swallows
"NO! stop swallowing! eleanor, stand up." max says sternly, pulling el up and she does slowly and tiredly
max leads her to the toilets, "spit the ones you didn't swallow." she whispers as el sighs, slowly doing so
"okay. i'll put 2 fingers down your throat and you're gonna throw up the rest okay? got it?" max asks as el tries to stands back up
"don't you fucking dare. you're not dying today." max says before shoving 2 fingers down her throat
el flinches and gasps, trying to find something to hold onto. max saw that not much was happening so she went deeper making el cough and gag before vomiting.
"that's it, let it all out." max pats her back with her other hand
el coughs harshly as more vomit comes out of her. after one last tried cough, el falls to the ground, crying quietly to herself.
"hey, it's okay. it's okay." max hugs her
"why did i do that? why did i do that?" el sobs, snapping out of her nightmare
"you were hurt. it's okay. how do you feel right now?" max asks
"i don't want to die anymore. i don't wanna die, max." she chokes out as max smiles softly
"good. that's good." max hugs her, "do you want to skip class today? i could tell the party and we could have a fun day." max suggests
el nods as max helps her up. "you clean up, i'll tell them. wait here." max smiles before running out
el cleans herself up, washing her mouth, fixing her hair and packing her bag up. she walked out of the bathroom waiting for the party outside the door.
"el!" mike runs over to her as she hugs him
"max told me. why did you do that?" his voice cracks as she moves his curls from out of his face
"i'm sorry. i'm so sorry, i really am. but i needed that because now.... i see things differently. i realised that i didn't want to die, i just didn't want to live like this." she whispers
"i can't imagine losing you. please don't do that again." he kisses her forehead, "i won't, i promise." she whispers
"i love you so much." he hugs her tightly
"i love you too but you're squishing me." she mumbles as he lets go
"sorry." he chuckles quietly
"can we go eat something? i-i just threw everything up." she mutters
"sure, definitely. you guys wanna go to the diner?" he turns around to face the party
they nod as el smiles softly, grabbing mikes hand and walking out.
~
a/n: we love short chaps 😌
YOU ARE READING
through the phone | mileven texting au
Fanfictionit was you. for some reason, it was you.
