Pirates of the Caribbean: Tales of the Dead

Carina The Teenage Witch

At first Maggie wasn't sure how to feel about having a real live witch aboard the Dying Gull. But she eventually came to the conclusion that she and Carina could be kindred spirits. They were the only two females aboard a ship full of males and Carina was a witch. Witches were females with magical powers, that's why they were outlawed. Folks around this era didn't like it when women had power... and Maggie didn't really like those kinds of people, so it would be fun to tick them off. If Carina could teach Maggie some of her witchy magic, imagine all the mischievous things Maggie could pull off.

"So how does one go about becoming a witch?" Maggie asked as she sat cross-legged in front of the mast Carina and Henry were tied to.

"For the last time, I'm not a witch. I'm an astronomer" Carina explained.

"Oh, sorry..." Maggie apologized. "So how can I become an astronomer witch?"

Carina sighed deeply. It was bad enough she was kidnapped by pirates, but now she was being talked to death by this pipsqueak.

"What did you say your name was again?" Maggie asked Carina.

"Carina Smyth" she answered.

"Hmm..." Maggie took a minute to think about it. "I'm gonna call you... Carina the Teenage Witch!"

"No" Carina told her.

"Oh... Well how about Witchypoo or the Wicked Witch with the Flat Chest?" Maggie started spouting more suggestions.

Carina sighed "Don't you have anything else you could be doing right now?"

"No, my Daddy told me to go bother you, so I don't bother him" Maggie explained. "It's a peaceful little cycle we kinda have going here, I'd hate to mess it up."

Captain Jack came down from the helm and approached Carina.

"There is no map in this map?" He said, holding up the diary questioningly.

"Give me my diary" Carina told him.

"Give me the Map No Man Can Read" Jack retorted, crossing his arms.

"If you could read it, then it wouldn't be called The Map No Man Can Read" Carina explained to him.

"Well then let me see the diary map, I can probably read it!" Maggie said, reaching for the diary.

"But it's written in Italian. Can you even read Italian?" Carina asked.

"Maybe I can, maybe I can't" Maggie told her. "We shall see."

"Can you read at all?" Carina asked, skeptically.

Maggie's jaw dropped. "Well that depends, Miss Smarty Skirt..." she told her. "Can you take a long walk off a short plank?!"

"Now Maggie..." Jack held her back from lunging at one of their captives. "Most of the men on this ship can't read" he argued with Carina. "Which makes all maps the Map That No Man Can Read."

"Well, if you can't read it, then you have no use for it or me" Carina smirked.

"Let me start again" Jack sighed. "Show me the map."

"I can't" Carina told him. "It doesn't exist yet."

"She's a witch!" Marty accused.

"I'm an astronomer" Carina corrected.

"Ah! Ah, she breeds donkeys" Scrum nodded.

"What?" Carina asked. "No. An astronomer contemplates the sky."

"Yeah, on a donkey?" Scrum informed her.

"No! There's no donkey!" Carina told him.

"Well, then how do you breed them?" Cremble asked, cluelessly.