Boondocks

Chapter 40: Together

FERN

I curled my fingers, inspecting the shape of him. Soft skin. Hard flesh. A trickle of doubt slid into my belly. Were they always this large, or had his grown with the rest of him?

I'd seen one before. In the painting of God creating Adam hanging inside Pastor's office. Pastor's wife caught me staring and shooed me away like I'd done something wrong. Tex was nothing like the painting. More like the summer we bred our stud horse to the neighbor's mare.

Tex stilled my hand. "Hold on." A warning lay beneath the command. The kind one would give a person about to be hit by a car. It almost seemed like that's how it would feel. His lips parted, brows lowered, eyes squeezed shut.

He wanted me to stop when I'd only just started. Instead of doing what he wanted, I did exactly as he'd asked. I held on, gripping tighter to stop him from pulling away. I couldn't give in now. Not when I'd made it this close. "I want you," I said. "Please."

Tex groaned and dropped down, pulling himself free. His eyes seared into mine; our lips almost touched. "Keep it up, and I might just give you what you're asking for."

"Good," I breathed. "I want it all. This. The rest. I want to be yours. I want you to be mine." I ran my hand up his back, relishing the fact that he let me.

He took a heaving breath too harsh to be a sigh. "If things were different, I'd build you a cabin in the middle of goddamn nowhere." He stroked my cheek. "I'd put a baby in your belly, and you'd teach us both about survival." His lips brushed mine as he spoke. His gaze had never been more tender. "I love you, Darlin'. I've never said that to a woman. I've never felt it. I love you so goddamn much, I'd rather die than do wrong by you."

A lump formed inside my throat. I swallowed. "I don't want to die never having had this." I held him tighter, pulling him to me, wishing I were strong enough to keep him there forever. "I have enough regret. I can't carry anymore."

His eyes darted between mine, thoughts racing across his expression, then he kissed me, deep, languid. He kicked his jeans the rest of the way off, then slid his hands beneath my sweater. "I've wanted to take this fucking thing off since I saw you wearing it."

"You don't like it?" The words trembled. My body trembled. It was happening.

He hummed. "You drive me insane." He lifted and undid my pants, pulling them free and shoving them off the edge of the bed. Then he paused and looked at me. "You're like an angel, sent down to make sure I'm good and damn ready to burn." He glanced at my face. "Tell me what you want."

White hot fire pooled into my stomach and spread lower. "I want to do what you've been doing. I want a turn."

Tex chewed his lip, looking like a dog just offered a steak. After a moment's hesitation, he flipped onto his back and lifted his arms above his head. "Alright, then, Darlin'. I'm all yours."

Everything about him was beautiful. Sculpted and adorned by art. It should have been him in the painting. If God were going to make a man, no doubt he'd look like this. Godly. Perfect. Flawed. Tattoos covered his legs, his chest, his arms. A bulldog on his calf. A naked woman on his thigh. Skeletal figures and fire and smoke.

He watched me watch him, tracking my reaction. "It's okay to change your mind."

"I haven't changed my mind." I wanted to see everything. I wanted to touch, and taste, and do for him what he'd been doing for me. I rose to my hands and knees and crawled over him, kissed his neck, his shoulder, lingering over the scar left behind by my arrow, then working my way down with pretend confidence. What if I did it wrong? What if I wasn't any good? I'd always been a hands-on learner, and while Tex had been demonstrating for a week, he hadn't necessarily been teaching. He'd been taking. Giving. Keeping me in the dark.