Boondocks

Chapter 31: The Tour

TEX

I wanted to pick up Fern, tell Merle to go long, and toss her ass as far away as possible. Then I wanted to gut that well-fed fucker and whichever asshole had put the gun to her back. I could sit them in facing chairs and make them watch each other's insides become outsides.

I'd fucked up. I'd taken one look at that barrel against her spine and forgotten everything else: the men, the bears, Pop, the war. My only thought had been that she couldn't die, and I almost got us all killed because of it. What had I been thinking? They'd already had her. All I'd done was point out how fucking good that meant they had me.

But fuck me, she never ceased to amaze. She'd saved us all. No fear. The sight of her—back arched, elbows pointed, bow drawn. The steel in her eyes. The conviction is her voice. She'd looked ready to save the world, and she probably fucking had. If they'd gotten the guns from the men by the dock, it would have been over. No liberation of Savannah. No siege on the Capitol. No future for any of the people still holding on, waiting for change.

I'd charged the men toward a cliff, and she'd stopped us at the edge. My small but fierce survivor, keeping us alive. My heart hadn't beat the whole time they'd had her, then having her in my arms shocked me back to life with an intensity that stole my breath.

She'd had me strung to four horses since the day she shot me, and her decision to die had made them all bolt in different directions. She ripped me into chunks and left me scattered. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to scold her. I wanted to scream at her until she swore never to do it again, and I wanted to show her just how goddamn much I worshiped everything she was.

No part of me wanted an alliance with the mother fuckers that had almost taken her away, but he wasn't lying, and logic—something I usually strived to use—dictated that having him, his men, their guns, and that ship was ideal.

But the smooth, silver tongue I needed had been sharpened to a blade. He kept pushing, picking, and I wanted to cut the smile off his face. But I didn't do that. I couldn't because I knew Fern didn't want me to. Her emotions ran so fucking high, the scent of them clouded the air, blocking out all else. Every time I'd start to lose it, her anxiety would magnify. Followed by displeasure. Then disappointment. She didn't want to fight, and I wasn't about to start one with her still within range.

"It has to be now," I said. "Or there'll be no one left to fight."

Sergio shrugged one shoulder. "Is no one now. They have already won."

"We have enough," I said. "And we can get more. An army stronger than you could ever imagine. But I'm not going to tell you how until I know damn sure you won't pass the information to the wrong ears." It was bad enough he knew who we were, where we were headed, and why. I wouldn't tell him about the bears, and I wouldn't give away the few still waiting by the boats. I damn sure wasn't about to tell him we were big because of the green. I'd rather be sent to Savannah than have them turn me into a lab rat.

"You want us to fight in war, not knowing how big is army." Sergio finished in Russian, laughing beneath his breath.

"I've told you enough to bury my army." I fumbled for a new cigar, lit it and took a long drag. It didn't help. "Any more puts too much at risk. If you're seriously against Arogandor's agenda, you'll understand how much is at stake." I sat back so I wouldn't jump up. "I've laid down all the cards I'm going to. You want me to keep gambling, you're gonna have to lay down a few more of yours."

He leveraged his arms on the table and used them to heave himself from the chair. "He wants proof," he said before barking more Russian toward the open doors.

Four men exited; guns present but lowered. Was that all of them? Four fucking men? I could practically feel the weighted gazes of the fifty, trained soldiers loaded and ready by the dock. I'd—Jesus—If I'd thrown it all away over four men, I wouldn't blame them if they called a vote to replace me. Maybe Reggie could lead them. He was good at guessing the goddamn future. He'd called this disaster the minute he saw me with her.