Boondocks

Chapter 2: Leaving the Swamp

CROC

Human men were loud, and they kept doing things I didn't like. Like right now. The sun was just starting to rise, reflecting off the waves in Willow's hair as she helped load the last few items onto the boat. And they were staring at her, particularly the one with the scar on his face. I wanted to give him a few more.

I turned away before I did, stepping back into the shack. It seemed empty, dark, and abandoned. Just as I'd been after Pappy was gone. I'd dreamed of that moment the most, of being in the loft, hidden beneath the blankets, too afraid to even leave to use the bathroom. I'd wished so hard for him to return, but he hadn't. Now, I was leaving too. It didn't feel right. It was my job to stay, to take care of and protect our home. A part of me had begun to dream that I would pass it along to the babies. That one day, it would be theirs.

The photos Julia had hung on the walls were gone. The mattress in the bedroom was bare. The table was empty, the lamp somewhere onboard. I didn't argue, but the entire time, I'd wanted to tell them to stop. That I didn't need to bring these things, because I was coming back. But the more they packed, the more I realized that might not be true. Then what? Would it all just rot away, forgotten? No. I didn't want that. At least this way, if I died like Pappy, our memories would live on with the babies and Willow.

Her scent hit me first, and I turned to watch her step inside. Willow smiled sadly. "It's time to go."

The battle we'd won had done nothing to dull her fear. She was terrified, day and night, constantly worried, and I hadn't done near enough to comfort her. I'd been too wrapped up in my own emotions. I took a deep breath and opened my arms, then I held her tight. The time for sadness was over. I would kill whatever danger existed, then I would bring them back here, and spend the rest of my life loving her.

"I'm ready," I said.

Her breaths shuddered against my chest, then she reluctantly pulled back and led the way to the boat. I followed closely behind her, glaring at the men we passed. Julia insisted they weren't a threat, and we needed them to help, but I still didn't like it.

The boat wasn't big enough. Just stepping onto it was more trouble than it was worth. If it wasn't for Julia and the babies, I'd have outright refused and swam there. But it was apparently too far, and I didn't know what that meant. I called to the gators, and they rose to the surface, ready and waiting for our departure. I nodded, hoping it wasn't too far for them. Tex had insisted, but I hated asking this of them. They belonged here, not wherever we were headed.

We pushed through the masses and took a seat at the front of the boat, our legs dangling over the edge.

"Everyone ready?" Tex boomed from his spot behind the wheel.

A chorus of agreements echoed through the air, then the engine rumbled to life, and the boat lurched forward. I held my breath, gripping the rail in front of us with both hands. Instinct demanded I get off. A memory tugged at my brain, warning me that this wasn't allowed. This wasn't a rule I could just break, no matter what Julia or Willow said. Then the mouth of the canal came into view, and I scooted backward, running into the legs of the man behind me. "Wait," I breathed.

"Croc?" Willow touched my arm.

"Wait," I said again.

"Stop the boat!" one of the men called out. "Gator boy senses something!"

The boat slowed, and everyone focused on me. But I had no answer to give them. There wasn't anything blocking the path ahead, just a distant voice in the back of my mind, growing louder the closer we came.

"You see this spot, where the big water starts?"

I closed my eyes and envisioned his face. He'd been holding me on his hip, the same way I carried Eric.

"That's where our world ends and theirs begins. Pappy doesn't want you to cross that line. Even if Pappy isn't here to tell you."

"Croc?" Willow prodded gently. "What is it?"

"It's nothing. . .It's—" I swallowed, looking out at the great beyond. No doubt he'd said it to protect me but staying put hadn't protected him. Staying put hadn't stopped the man with his gun from showing up. Staying put hadn't kept away Danny and his army. It hadn't saved all the animals who'd been shot. I looked at Willow, then behind me, searching the crowd until I caught sight of the children. They too were watching me, waiting for my direction. I was the Pappy now. It was my job to protect them. "I thought I smelled something, but it's gone."

The man with the scar scoffed and threw up a hand. "False alarm! Let's get moving. The longer we spend on this boat, the more I hate all you assholes."

Everyone went back to whatever they'd been doing, and Willow tugged my hand, prompting me to sit back down.

"What was it?' she asked as the boat slowly moved forward.

I didn't answer right away. I tracked our progress in inches as the line drew nearer. Then we exited the canal, and the water opened up so wide I was sure it would swallow us all. I sucked in a breath and let it out slow. The boat sped up, cutting through the murk like a blade.

Willow linked her arm through mine and rested her head on my shoulder. I turned my face, smelling her hair, drawing comfort. Home didn't have to be a place. Home was wherever she was, and I would follow her to the end of the Earth, no matter what the rules were.

Everyone fell silent as our journey continued. The water stretched endlessly, the banks distant. The boat left a trail of rolling waves behind us. The further we got, the more disconnected I felt. Apart from a few birds, the world was lifeless. I lost track of time, as I stared blankly at the never-changing scenery.

Tex slowed. "What do you reckon that is?" he called from above. He turned the wheel and drifted forward.

I stood, noticing what had caught his attention. A mass of vines rose above the marsh.

Merle stepped into place beside me. His eyes narrowed. "What in the hell is that?"

I sucked in a breath.

"Pappy? Why does the boat have to go away?"

"We don't need it anymore."

I dove over the side and swam hard to where it sat. Dead grass had grown up around it, the vines so thick it was hard to see what lay beneath. But I could see it, clear as day inside my mind. I could see myself on Pappy's lap, gripping the wheel. I climbed on board and gripped it now.

"What is it?" Merle called.

"It's a boat," I said.

"Will it run?" someone asked.

They drew to a stop as close as they could get, and Tex climbed down the ladder, leaning over the rail to get a better look. "No chance in hell that thing's gonna run."

I fingered the keys still hanging from the ignition. An alligator carved from wood hung from a rusted chain. I couldn't recall when, but I'd held them before. I stuffed them into my pocket and returned to the others, my brain connecting pieces I hadn't known were there. He'd taught me how to drive it, so he had to send it away. But where had we gone before? The only reason for him to have it would be if we did. What had happened to make him do that? Had it been the man? Had he known someone was looking for him and thought hiding was the only option?

The men kept talking about it, as Tex returned to the wheel and drove away. 

I pulled the keys from my pocket and took back my seat beside Willow.

She looked at them. "Souvenir?"

I nodded. "Something like that." Then we fell back into silence as the journey continued. I ran my fingers over the grooves in the wood, rubbing away algae. I wasn't sure why I took them. Tex was right. The boat was gone. It was like Pappy now, ingrained into the scenery like a fallen cypress.

I felt like my life was being split into two, and all the parts of the past were slowly coming to the surface, saying their goodbyes. I had no idea where we were headed, no clue what I would find.

Whatever it was, it'd been bad enough to make Pappy ensure I never found it.