Boondocks

Chapter 34: Secrets in the dark

TEX

They agreed to work with us. Sure, Sergio wanted to put on a show about it being a trial, how he'll decide later, and yada-yada bullshit. Him and I both knew he was fucked. He didn't have any more men than the ones he'd called outside. We could have taken the ship. We could still take the ship.

But even though Fern was safely locked inside a private cabin only a few feet behind me, that fucker still had her. Because he gave her that cabin. All jovial and friendly. Making her smile. Making her laugh. Making her look at him with big eyes full of fucking wonder. If I tossed his ass off now, she'd hate me, and that mother fucker knew it. He rubbed it in my face with knowing glances and taunting grins.

But Sergio wasn't my issue at the moment. He said they needed an hour before they'd be ready to sail, and they were busy loading supplies onto the ship.

Had the situation been different, I'd have helped just to see what they had. My men would've helped pack faster. Instead, they were clustered across the deck in front of me, dagger-eyed and tight-jawed.

I'd fucked up plenty when I was young, but I'd been corrected. I'd been taught. Pop and Merle and Cecil. Big John and old Pete, God rest their souls. I hadn't fucked up once since Pop was killed. Yet, there I stood. For the first time since I'd taken over as Club President, I hadn't a leg to stand on. "I shouldn't have brought her." It was a lame fucking thing to say, but it was all I had. I'd do it again. I'd do it now. Hell, even in that moment, I was guarding her door more than I was addressing them. If any man so much as stepped in her direction, I'd snap his fucking neck.

The men were quiet for a moment, letting my words echo in the space between us, dormant, hollow.

Cecil snorted. "Was that all? Well, then, honest mistake." His lips pursed as if that were all he'd say. But nobody spoke because we all knew that was never the case. "I probably wouldn't have handed them the fucking guns," he continued. "But I'm just an old man. What the hell do I know?"

"Let the girl go," Reggie mimicked me in a high voice. He shook his head and glanced around before focusing on me, smile broad, eyes lit, pleased to have been proven right. "I don't know what the fuck happened to you, Tex, but that girl must have some wonderful pussy."

The men laughed, and I bit my tongue hard enough to taste blood. We couldn't fight amongst ourselves, and it was the wrong time for Reggie to fuck with me, especially regarding Fern. But they had a right to be pissed. After what I'd just done, they had a right to say whatever the fuck they wanted.

"I fucked up." I gripped the back of my neck, but the tension wasn't there. It was everywhere, and the rest of my cigars were tucked away on Lucille. Son of a bitch. I needed one. I needed a drink. A whole goddamn bottle.

Merle huffed. "You know damn well not one of these men would have hesitated to take a bullet for that girl."

Cecil grunted, shaking his head as he flopped down to sit against the closest mast.

Merle ignored him. He looked around the men, daring them to disagree. They didn't. "Fern isn't the problem. She's the only goddamn reason any of us is alive!" His gaze met mine, just as scolding as it'd been when I was a boy. "The problem is the call you made. Anybody with half a brain would know that deal was stupid. You know it. You knew it right after you fucking said it, but you didn't think!" He poked his temple. "That's the problem. You haven't been thinking. You claim we need to take action, and I agree. But what you're doing isn't action. It's reaction. You're reacting." His jaw twitched. "You're jumping the gun and running headfirst through the densest shit anybody has ever experienced on this Earth, and it's fucking stupid, boy!"