𝒴💍𝓊 𝓈𝒶𝓋𝑒𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝓁𝒾𝒻𝑒 | Sakuatsu

∆•Chapter~Thirteen•∆

Miya Atsumu's POV

I didn't want to let myself cry, I didn't want him to see it was all true. I didn't want him to see who I was. But those words. They will never be able to leave my head. He knows. He knows everything, and here I am crying into his chest. Sakusa Kiyoomi is Shinpi? I mean I guess it makes sense but we had two completely different relationships. I don't know if he'll want to keep talking to me. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it even, but I don't want to lose Shinpi.

I guess I just have to connect the phone number to the person but it's kind of a lot. I have two complete different impressions of each of them and they're actually the same? It's a little much to take right now.

He pulled me into his lap and I just buried my face into his abs while wrapping my arms around him. I don't know how long this will last, but I want to hold him right now. I don't know how to feel really. I know I said I wanted to put the two together but I didn't think that would actually happen. Do I like him? I know I find Sakusa attractive in looks but do I like Shinpi? I like talking to him a lot but, I don't know. I've never got those butterflies or been out of breath just thinking of him. I haven't felt any of it. I don't know what it's like to fall in love, or even have a "crush". If I had a crush it would pass quickly. So I'll wait. I'll see what happens. 

I woke up to someone shaking me, my arms still loosely around Sakusa. I hummed before pushing myself up and looking around the room. The door was open and in the frame of it stood my brother. His eyes went to my neck and he rolled his eyes.

"Ya really need to stop 'hookin up with people." He said to me. I don't know if it was a "hookup". More like him helping me relieve stress. I mean it felt great, so good actually. It wasn't boring, ugh I hate to admit it but I'm a bottom. There's just such a thrill in it. Somebody taking over, somebody having control over me. Agh it's so hot. I rubbed my eyes before standing up and looking at Sakusa. He was kind of just silently sitting there in thought before he reached for his mask.

"Anyway, why are ya here? I've been so 'fuckin worried 'Tsumu." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Uh so we basically got locked in here." I said scratching the back of my neck. 

"Uh huh, you really managed to seduce a germaphobe?" 'Samu asked me while tilting his head. Sakusa scoffed while my cheeks turned bright red. No no we do NOT tell 'Samu I'm a bottom. I would never hear the end of it. I cleared my throat before walking out the door and not turning back. Didn't even say anything to Sakusa, I didn't know what to say.

"How didja know I was here?" I asked as we walked towards the front of the school.

"Well first I went ta Oikawa, and he said the last time he saw ya, ya had ta stay after class. So I assumed ya did something stupid and called the school to let me in and search for yer stupid ass." 'Samu explained as he pushed open the door for me. I gave a quick thanks.

"Huh, okay well. Oh wait I have to do a project! Ughhhh!" I let out a groan while we started to walk towards the parking lot. 'Samu chuckled before we both made our way to the car.

When we got home I went to my room and sat on my bed. I sat there for a minute. 

Sakusa is Shinpi.

And then it hit me.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" I yelled loudly.

"SHUT UP 'TSUMU!"

I felt straight panic rush to my head. Fuck fuck fuck someone that HATES me at school KNOWS my disorder. Fuck. Oh my god no. This is bad, this is really bad. I paced around the room before letting out a whine and dropping to the floor. I sat there feeling upset for a moment before the anxiety caught up with me. I began to start trembling and there was no stopping what would come. I laid on the floor breathing in and out at a quick pace. Soon enough I was hyperventilating and felt tears well up in my eyes. Tears slid down the sides of my face, falling into my hair. I was breathing so quickly it felt hard to breath. I tried to yell for 'Samu but nothing came out. I tried to get up and move to him but I was frozen. I was stuck there, trapped. Panic surged through me. I tilted my head and stared at the door.