Matters of the Heart

Chapter 24

"Abbey" "Abbey"

Abbey lay in bed tossing and turning her arms and legs flailing.

"No no Jesse! Jesse!"

Jesse was propped up beside her trying to grab her.

"Baby I'm right here. Abbey. Abs baby wake up. You're ok baby I'm right here."

Abbey continued to squirm around and fight Jesse as he tried to steady her.

"No. No. Jesse. Jesse come back. Please come back!"

Jesse was leaning over Abbey.

"Baby I'm right here. Im here. I haven't gone anywhere, Just wake up Abbey"

Suddenly Abbeys eyes flew opened and Jesse slid back just a little bit to allow Abbey space. She sat up abruptly breathing hard, her heart pounding in her chest. She took in her surroundings as she tried to calm herself down. She was in bed in their bedroom in their apartment, not at the hospital in a private room standing over Jesse's dead body, trying to bring him back to life.

Jesse.

It was Jesse's voice that brought her back to reality. Suddenly she felt a hand on her upper arm and she flinched.

"Hey it's me, you're ok" she heard Jesse's voice again.

Abbey looked over and saw Jesse beside her hand outstretched but up in the air, a very concerned expression on his face.

"Baby?"

"Jesse?! You're ok?"

"Yeah Baby I'm fine. I'm right here. You were having a bad dream."

"No it was a nightmare"

All of a sudden the dam broke within Abbey, she literally pounced on Jesse beside her, jumping into his arms throwing her arms around his neck. For a second, he was taken by complete surprise especially when she started sobbing.

Jesse wrapped his arms protectively around Abbeys slim body, holding her tightly and gently rubbing her back as Abbey layed her head on his shoulder, still sobbing.

"Hey baby, it's ok babe. It's all right, I'm right here, you're ok."

He heard Abbey sniffle.

"Baby it's ok. It was just a nightmare, I'm right here. I've got you"

Abbey slowly pulled away from him but still in his embrace. Jesse could see the tears streaked down her face, she shook her head.

"It was the worst nightmare I've ever had"

Jesse cupped Abbeys face with his hands.

"Hey talk to me"

Abbey nodded her head. Jesse layed back down against the pillows and took Abbey with her, cradling her against his chest, his arms around her.

"I dreamed you were having your surgery"

"Well I guess that's normal. My surgery is tomorrow"

"Yeah and I was waiting and waiting and waiting. Leah and Pat were there. But I couldn't stand it, I couldn't sit down with them, I just kept pacing the waiting room..."

Jesse ran his fingers through her wavy auburn hair while she explained her nightmare to him.

"Ryan finally came out and he just kept saying how sorry he was. That there were complications, that you threw a clot and had a heart attack and you went into cardiac arrest..."

Jesse's eyes widened as he was understanding why she was so inconsolable.

"That they couldnt save you. And I just couldn't accept it. I had to see you. So they took me and Leah and Pat into a room and there you were..."

More tears were streaming down her face as Jesse kept wiping her face and then running his hand through her hair, just silently but intently listening to her.

"...you were laying on that gurney completely lifeless..."

Abbey was now sobbing again having to take a breath between every few words due to her sobbing.

"...i couldn't...take it...i had to bring...you back...i tried...i tried to bring you back...and I couldn't. I couldn't save you Jess!"

"Hey hey it's ok. It was just a nightmare. Baby, I'm right here. Ok? I'm ok. Im here and you're here. I'm fine baby"

She started shaking her head.

"Jesse, what if it wasn't a nightmare? What if it was a warning? Your surgery is tomorrow"

"Baby come on you're a Dr, listen to yourself, it was just a nightmare"

"You're right honey I am a Dr so I know exactly what can go wrong."

Jesse gave his wife a sharp look

"Jess I cant lose you I can't"

"Hey you are not going to lose me. Do you hear me? Everything is going to be fine. We're going to be fine."

"Oh God"

"Abbey listen to me, it's going to be ok"

"No"

Abbey jumped up and ran to the bathroom. Jesse sat up.

"Abbs?"

Abbey ran into the bathroom and hit the bathroom floor in front of the toilet, and immediately began to vomit. Jesse scrambled out of bed and hurried to the bathroom and knelt down behind her, one hand holding her hair back, the other gently rubbing her back. After a few minutes, Abbey leaned forward and flushed the toilet. Without a word, Jesse got up and wet a washcloth. He knelt back down beside her and gently wiped off her forehead and face.

"You've literally made yourself sick babe"

Abbey didn't mention the other times she had been sick, or the nausea, or headaches, or back pain. She just nodded. Jesse stood up and extended his hand to her. She took it and he helped her up. She went to the sink and brushed her teeth.

"Come on babe, let's go back to bed."

They both walked back to their bed and got in. Jesse pulled Abbey onto his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

"Just promise me something" she asked him.

"What's that?"

"You fight like hell tomorrow. Whatever white light you see, you run like hell. I know you can. I watch you do it every week"

Jesse lightly chuckled.

"I'm serious Jess"

"Ok yes I promise you I will do whatever I can to come back to you always."

Abbey nodded.

"But for now, I'm ok. And I'm here"

He layed her hand directly over his heart where she could feel the soft drumming of his heartbeat. She cuddled into him and he kissed the top of her head. They both drifted back to sleep.