Scared To Be Called Yours

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"What are you doing in that bar, alone?" he asked. Paano ko sasabihin sakaniya na dahil sakanila ni Marisse yon? Paano ko sasabihin na naguguluhan ako dahil sakaniya?

"I just want to have fun." I smiled, "On my own..."

"Why? Do you have problem with your friends?"

"Wala naman. Bakit, masama bang uminom mag-isa?"

"Did I said that? Who will pick you up whenever you are drunk? What if, I didn't saw you there?" he asked me seriously. Iniiwasan ko ang mga mata niya, kasi ang talas na naman ng tingin sa akin. He is angry again! Pa-iba iba naman ang mood niya! Parang kanina lang, ang bait niya!

"I don't know? Maybe, Yuto? He is kind though. I trust him!" I smiled. Hindi mai-pinta ang mukha niya.

"The japanese bartender?" he asked. Tinigil niya muna ang pagkain at nag-focus sa pakikipag-usap sa akin. Kainis, bakit siya ganiyan makatitig?

"Yes, yup!"

"I almost ripped his mouth." he whispered. Nangunot ang noo ko. Anong binubulong-bulong niya?

"Why the fuck are you whispering?"

"Stop cursing."

"Okay, fine!" sabi ko at umirap.

"How are you sure that you can trust him?"

"Basta!" sabi ko, dahil tinatamad akong mag-explain. Alam ko naman na mapagkakatiwalaan ko si Yuto.

"You shouldn't trust people easily. You're a woman, you should know how to protect yourself also." he said and continue eating.

"Wow..." namamangha kong sabi. "Are you concerned about me now? Sabihin mo lang. Mag-papanggap na lang akong nagulat." I smiled sweetly.

"You wish." he said and stood up. Ngumisi ako.

After namin kumain, inihatid niya na ako sa bahay namin. Pumasok ako sa loob. I saw my Mom talking someone on the phone. Ibinaba niya agad iyon nang makita ako. Tumakbo siya sa akin at niyakap ako.

"Alde! Ano bang nangyari sa iyo ha? We're so worried about you!" she said. I look at her. I love her, I really do. I am just scared.

"I told you already." I said.

Lalagpasan ko na sana siya nang may sumampal sa akin.

"How could you do that to your Mother?!" my Dad shouted. I was so shocked. Nakatitig lamang ako sa sahig habang dinadama ang init ng kamay niya sa aking pisngi.

"Donato!" gulat na sigaw ni Mommy.

"Your Mom was so worried about you! Tapos, uuwi ka lang, na parang wala kang taong pinag-alala?!" he shouted on my face.

"Donato, tama na..." umiiyak na sabi ni Mommy. Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Daddy. Sasagot pa sana ako sakaniya, kaso nakita ko si Mommy. Kaya, tinalikuran ko na lamang sila. Tumalikod nalang ako, kasi ayokong may sabi. I can't stop my mouth when I am angry.

"Alde! I am not yet done! Tarantado ka!"

I closed my room's door. Pinunasan ko ang luha ko. Hindi nila ako naiintindihan. Walang nakakaintindi sa kung anong nararamdaman ko.

Natatakot ako na kapag sinabi ko iyong nararamdaman ko, gamitin nila iyon laban sa akin. Natatakot akong maiwan, ulit. Kaya sinasanay ko ang sarili ko na walang pinagkakautangan ng loob. That is something about me that they will never understand.

The next day, I went to Guerrero's, just to ask Penelope if she is free. I really just want to talk to someone right now. I need a break. I am so stressed these past few days. Everything is stressing me.