PERRIE
Hearing what Alice related was too much of a shock. I didn't know if I was hearing it right, or she was speaking in figurative. To me it sounded too simple that she had caused Jesy to take her life. That meant one thing: Jesy has been dead all this time.
In my mind, I was still doubting though. What if Alice was just lying? Obviously, Jade does not recognize her and she could just be messing with us.
Jade's sigh brought my full attention back to her. Her eyes wildly moved alternately between myself and Alice, who had come closer now with tears flowing from her eyes.
Alice slowly and with a little difficulty, lifted her hands to touch Jade's hand on the bed.
"I know I am way too late," she slowly and very softly spoke again. It was as if her every word was her every breath. "And I would understand if you won't be able to forgive me...but, I still want you to know that I have regretted ever doing that to you and Jesy." she took a deep inhale before continuing, "I'm really really sorry I caused you the pain..."
Jade shook her head, pushing Alice's hand away from hers.
"Jesy's gone..." then she buried her face in both her hands before letting out a heart wrenching scream. I automatically held her hand to calm her. But she pushed my hand away too.
"What's going on?" Leigh, who was held outside by an intern asking some advice, came rushing in.
My heart was being ripped as Jade started sobbing, her face still in her hands. I needed to hold her to stop the pain, my own and whatever it was she was feeling.
"It's me Babe" I softly coaxed. She shook her head from side to side.
"You don't deserve me, Perrie." she murmured from within her hands.
Her words sounded the alarm in me to an absolute red. Why did the issue become me deserving her?
"Don't say that" I felt the prick of tears starting to form in my eyes.
Jade released herself from the mask of her hands. "You don't understand." she said through gritted teeth.
I shook my head no. "I don't." I said truthfully. "But I don't think you and me have a problem, right?"
More tears flowed. She leaned her head back, pressing her eyes tight. "I lied to you, okay? There is no more Jesy! Long before you came."
That took me aback. So she is confirming what Alice just told. Jesy has been dead for a year now.
"I lied to you, do you get it Perrie?" she repeated.
Even though my heart was being torn at seeing the one person I love most broken down in tears, my mind was now ever more confused and part of me started the sparks of anger. Jade did not cheat on me or anything of the sort, but she had been lying to me from the very start.
"I'm sorry." Jade went on. "But to save you the trouble, I'll be..." she sighed so deep. "I'll be the one to sever it."
My head is spinning now, not because I'm too in love. Or maybe that too. Maybe I am too in love and too in shock to find out that the one I am too in love with is a straight up liar. It hurts to know that it would be so hard to trust her with my heart again. I did not know how to respond. A raking stroke of my fingers over my hair did not ease the headache already building up.
I heard myself huff violently, my own eyes now a waterfall of tears. How could I be the love fool again? I needed air. I quickly stepped away, turned and left the room that seemed to grow smaller to choke me.
"Perrie, wait!" I heard Leigh run after me.
"I know, I'm such a fool. No need to rub it in my face." I bit out, not looking back at her. I rushed towards my car which I had parked at the back of the building. Tears running down my face and my head and heart hurting like hell, I drove away.
