JADE
As I entered my studio, I felt the breath rush back into my chest. It was weird meeting the guardian of one of my favorite students and reacting this way. I had met some of them before but with Ellie's, it seemed different. Maybe because we met out in the street and not in my classroom? I am not sure, but I have to shrug it off. I have a few pieces I want to finish. And an adult art student would be coming in today.
While it is true that I teach kids at a school, I also wanted to teach some adults who are interested in painting. That is why I have this studio where I make my pieces and teach in freelance.
While waiting for my student, I decided on finishing one of my portraits to also get my mind off the blonde I just met. Even though my studio is used for teaching, it also becomes a store for my artworks. It all started when one of my adult students introduced my studio to her father who was also into paintings and he asked me to make a portrait of his family that he could hang in his great hall and paid a good price. He has since referred me to other people and here I am now, juggling teaching kids, teaching adults some art and painting for special orders. Not that I don't like it. I actually love it. It always calmed me whenever I blended the paint and created something beautiful on a canvass. It was my escape from the reality that my sister won't talk to me now.
I kept my head straight, wanting to get that blonde's face off my eyes.
"Hi Jade!" Dani came in. She is the new student I have. In the school, my kids call me teacher and that is fine. But here, I let them call me by name since we were of same age or for the others, they were older than me.
" Hey" I greeted back. So, here comes another hour of sharing my knowledge. I hope it distracts me from the blue eyes.
"You look different." Dani tells me as I clumsily hit my arm on my table. "Is something wrong?"
I shook my head no. "Just tired, I think." I hope she believes me. It being a Friday. But I know there's something wrong. My head is still spinning around that Perrie that Ellie introduced me to. The way she said hello and her grasp on my hand. And her blue eyed stare that confused me. And now her face is inside my eyes even though she isn't right before me.
"I think I'll go ahead and practice the sketching techniques you taught me last week." Dani smiles.
"Y-yeah. I guess I'll observe and guide you." I stuttered.
"You could actually go and sit and I'll show you my results." Dani assured.
No. I need some distraction. I don't know what's happening to me but I don't want to just sit and let it plague me.
"I might fall asleep and trust me it would be hard to wake me for your results." I lied. I never was hard to wake up. As I said, I just needed to distract myself.
"Okay." Dani shrugged.
We went on to her easel and I showed her the tricks in making the sketches to be painted. And I was thankful it somehow took me off the thoughts of Perrie.
After an hour with Dani, I decided it was time to get home and feed Jesy. I'm not sure if she's ever thought that I always leave some food for her in the fridge but she just would not go out her room to grab some. So I have to always be early home to leave at least a sandwich on her door.
I entered the house, which was always dark when I am not home. Jesy started to love the dark ever since the accident. I turned on the lights and went straight to the kitchen to make her sandwich even though my thoughts were running around the blonde that I met this day. When Dani left the studio, these thoughts came running back into my head and I could not drove them away even when I was already on the ride home.
I know I have seen that face from before, I just don't remember where or when. My mind may be playing tricks on me this time.
I continued to make Jesy's food instead, focusing on making it as tasty as possible, the way she liked it on our movie nights when she was still open to fluffy stuff. There has been a lot that changed ever since that accident and I just want to make it up to her. This is one of the ways I know I could do that.
I went on ahead with the platter and a glass of water upstairs to where our rooms are.
Placing the platter and glass right in front of her door, I sat down on the side and did what I always do-waiting for the door to open and see at least her hand reach out to take the food. Most times though, she is very clever. She waits for me to leave before taking it. This time, I wanted to talk to her even though I know she would never answer me. I'm not even sure if she was listening. I hope she is s she would know that I love her no matter what has happened between the two of us.
"Hey Jes." I started. " I know you don't want to talk to me. It's okay. I've realized that long ago but I just need you to hear me out."
I could hear a little movement inside the room. I hope she is at the exact opposite side of the wall I'm leaning at and listening.
"I miss you. I wish we could.." I did not want to say, "go back to the way we used to be." , knowing well that we could not. I felt my eyes water and I just let the tears escape my eyes and flow down my face. I needed this. I needed relief from the pain I feel from the fall out we have.
" I wish we could be here sitting together and having fun, movie nights. Hell, I could even..." I stopped myself. She would not like it if I say I would like to paint her again. "I could even make the best snack for the both of us, better than that sandwich right now."
But I needed to let it out. i needed to let her know that no matter how damaged she thinks she is, she is still the most beautiful woman I ever knew. I needed her to know that. And I'm not saying it just because I want her anger to simmer, but because it is how I truly see her.
"You know I miss painting you. Don't think I don't see the beauty in you. You are always beautiful to me. I hope you believe me. And I am not saying this out of pity. In fact, I envy you so bad. Up until now.
Remember you were the queen bee at high school and I was always the cry baby behind you but you always managed to lift me up and my spirits? I so admired you then. I still do. I had wished I could be you and stand up to anyone who makes fun of me. That I am not the easy target for bullying and all the dirty stuff done to me by those girls at dorm in college. I wished I was you."
I heard another movement inside. It's like she's moved away from the wall. I decided it was time for me to go and get rest, and have her have her time for her meal.
"I miss you, Jes. I'll leave you be tonight. I hope one of these days you forgive me already. Good night. I love you." I lingered my lips on the wall for a few moments before deciding to go into my room and get some sleep.
So here's chapter 3. It might be a long while before I give you chapter 4 since a lot of activities came up for me again with the opening of August. Please bear with me for now. I promise, I'll be updating as soon as I get some free time. So for now, I've got to get some sleep. Good night...
