LEIGH ANNE
I watched helplessly as Perrie's car sped away. Having been her childhood friend, I have seen her hurt and angry. And it hurts to see her go in tears.
"Doc!" the panicked niece of Miss Alice was right after me. "The woman in the room is trying to kill herself!"
Bloody hell! I quickly turned on my heels back to the room, where Jade had ripped off her dextrose and was banging her head violently on the wall above her bed's headboard, tears streaming down her face.
"Jade!" I ran to prevent her head from hitting the concrete wall again. For someone who had lost much blood from her stab wound, she seemed strong to fight my assistance.
"Shhh," I held her in a hug pulling her close to me to prevent her from banging her head behind her. And I felt hurt inside too.
When Perrie introduced her to me while they were still just dating, I instantly felt a liking to her. She was open to tell about her broken relationship with her sister, about the abuse she went through, why she wants to take things slow with Perrie. (It also made me proud of Perrie's perseverance and patience to have Jade's heart.) I was sure that when time came for them to get to the next level, Jade would be one to take care of a relationship, unlike Perrie's exes who wanted her only for her fortune and success. This is why I could not blame if she feels betrayed right now.I myself am questioning if Jade is like the rest.
It took a few more minutes of Jade sobbing and shaking violently before finally giving in to my comfort.
"You should hate me now." she started, trying to push me away. "I lied to your best friend."
"Jade," I shushed. "what made you lie to Perrie?"
"I...I don't know." she broke into sobs again.
Something in my gut, and the way her answer came makes me start to believe she did not want to lie to Perrie. Why would she lie if she doesn't have a reason?
Then it hit me. Maybe she was not lying at all to Perrie! The grief of losing her sister a year ago made her create a character of Jesy on her own, a new image of her sister to cope with grief and believe that no life was taken that night. And that distorted her reality. We can say, she got sick in the head, but not crazy.Just too grief stricken. And now is not the time for her to lose someone to ease her mind.
PERRIE
The prickling behind my eyelids still persisted as I swung the car into the freeway. Tonight would have been one of the best. I started by celebrating a romance that sadly, and infuriatingly seemed to me all a fake. In the past, I have had someone appearing vulnerable to catch my attention and get me to empathize with them. I was already stupid enough to translate that to falling in love. My most recent, Ren, who had cheated on me, was actually using me to buy the stuff that she and the goddamned guy she was seeing desired. I should have learned from then. And how stupid can I get for falling if Jade is the same?
I could not help it, my night is ruined. The streetlights had that scattered glow as my eyes were getting blurry and blurry with each tear that fell from my eyes. I do love Jade, in my heart I know I do, and it kills me that she actually does not love me. She had lied to me. She may have taken me to feel for her and then later on,she would just break my heart like the rest did. But then, I am not entirely sure about that. I want to think that this was all a nightmare I'm having. I want to believe that she did not mean it,or that Alice was the liar.
There was this one place I go to make me feel better at times like this. Leigh Anne has always been the shoulder I cried on in every heartbreak I've had, but that girl is her patient, and it would be a bad medical practice if she has some negative emotion towards the one she takes care of. So tonight, the seashore would be a better soundboard, let the breeze clear my head and sing me a calming lullaby.
I parked the car on the sand but decided I'd take the stretch towards the edge of the water on foot, literally barefoot too. That way, I could feel more calmed as the wind passes my face and hair. Plus, I was alone on the beach tonight.
The waves calmly lapped on the sand, touching the tips of my toes as I stood close. My father, who had inspired me all my life used to bring me here all the time.
Somehow, the sound of the waves gave me a soothing feeling, a calming effect on my confused nerves. A barge passed by towards the docks, its lights illuminating the purple gray sky, like the colors of an oil painting I once saw.
Tears started again as I realized whose painting it was that I saw. Why is it now that everything goes back to Jade? I sighed. Then turned my face to the other side of the shore, to where a beautiful old home I used to admire stood. My father, and also Leigh Anne told me that it belonged to a sea widow. She always sat by the window facing the beach awaiting her husband's return even though she knew that he will never be able to come back anyway. Her sons usually told her the reality but to her the truth is hers, and she is in her own reality whenever she waits for him at the window. Until she was brought to an institute where she was told the whole truth and that she should accept that he is gone even though he will live on in her memories, because she loved him.
Then it hit me. Jade loved Jesy all her life, and losing the big sister she loved, she became like the sea widow.
And I slapped myself mentally, judging Jade so easily instead of understanding her. Now that I left her there to cry, alone without the understanding that she needed, without Karl helping her understand this reality in a way as to not end in argument, I felt like a selfish bitch, only letting my emotion take the better of me, letting negative suspicion render me blind of what the person I love needs most.
Now, I don't even know if Jade would be glad to see me, now that I hurt her, now that I said words that I know I could never take back. But what if I can?
I quickly turned around, ran the few meters to my car, and without even bothering to put my shoes back on, revved the engine to life, hoping that what Jade and I is still alive.
