𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐆 || 𝐏𝐎𝐏 𝐒𝐌𝐎𝐊𝐄

37.

- Janay James -
- New York, New York -

"i'm just tryna figure out how you still look so handsome in a coma" i laughed to try and brighten the mood in the hospital room. "i have your hoodie on. the one from gucci? it just smelled like you and i guess i missed it.. but um.. i aced my test! yea i aced it and passed!"

it was like talking to a wall and it sucked.. i want him back. i just need him to squeeze my hand or something.. anything.

Amiri's sleeping right now that's why i'm with pop.. but pop he.. his heartbeat stopped last night and they worked on him for hours till it came back..

they put him in an induced coma because they thought it would be better.. he was technically dead for two hours before they could get his heartbeat back.

shit scared me so much. and amiri.. don't even get me started. i'm such a mess here.

"It's been so hard and it's only been a few days, baby. i'm falling apart without you here a-and i.. fuck" i wiped my tears. "i'm sorry i told myself i wouldn't cry i just can't sit here like this" i sniffled trying to calm down my tears but it wasn't working.

the good thing was that i was able to lay with him whenever i wanted.. as long as i didn't mess with the tubes or anything connected to him.

"i miss and love you so much, Poppa. i just want you back home" i stood up. "can i lay with you? maybe it'll calm me down a little" i sighed lifting his arm up before sliding my slides off and getting on the bed cuddling up to him.

putting his arm around me, i smiled lightly but it quickly faded.

"please don't give up your fight, Shar" i kissed his hand. "please keep fighting.. if not for me, for our babies"

after a little, i couldn't stop it. i let it all out crying in his chest while running my thumb along his hand caressing it.

i just want him to squeeze my hand.. just the slightest bit!

i want him here telling me it'll all be okay.. and that i'm strong and how good i'm doing.

i miss him.. i miss him so fucking much.