What if? (A deh and heathers story)

Chp.13 The Murphys

Cw: Profanity
Evan's POV

School was normal. Lunch, normal I had my usual sun butter sandwich and alone time—Jared sat at other tables. Classes, normal so far, it's the last period. The only problem was Connor. Not him exactly, the thought of him being surrounded by people in the medical field then, proceeding to die; made me suffer. The image played in my head, Connor in a paper gown laying on a cot, his family finally cared enough to come to watch him die. One nurse on the left asks "are you sure?" The family nods. The nurse turns off a contraption keeping Connor alive—one I'm not sure if it exists.

"Evan, what message did the author want to convey on page 452?" Miss. G stares at me.

"He uh, possibly wanted to show why a character mourning is i-i-important." I made that up. I'm not good at improv but sometimes, I can easily create lies for stuff.

"Very good." She shakes her head.

I stare out the window until class was over. Until everything thing stops until my brain shuts up.

———

I at was the hospital for Connor. I've already checked in through the front desk.
I twist the doorknob to be greeted with the Murphy's. Their eyes linger on me until I take a seat.

I stay quiet, waiting until one of them says something.

"Did you know Connor?" To I assume Mrs. Murphy says. The question was blunt, even though I could've guessed she would have asked it eventually.

"Briefly," I answered. The word wasn't affirming nor denying, neutral enough to hopefully satisfy their thoughts.

"What do you mean?" 'Briefly' wasn't enough to satisfy them. Amazing, ten out of ten word choice.

"I've known him for a long time; I only noticed him as a far acquaintance though that time. Meaning, we didn't talk..." My palms started to sweat. 

"So, why are you here?" Zoe comments.

"Because I feel guilty?" My tone almost becomes a shout.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry."

The hope my life was apparently pinned on talked to me, and I yelled in response. Not to mention my impression that she might get from me is that I'm not a good person who has a short temper because I yelled at them or, her parents thinks I'm a 'bad influence' because I said "fuck."

I glare at Connor. He wasn't dying, skin: was cold like JD's, hair: same as when he shoved me. Connor: probably same personality. A personality that I did not and will not know. I continue to stare, hoping to let my annoying thoughts shut up again.

"I feel guilty because... b-because I didn't know him..." It's an awful excuse, I know. I don't know the excuse myself, all I know is that I feel some kind of sympathy and relation with Connor.

I look up, the attention in the room was on me. I couldn't leave again like what happened with JD, everything would get worse.

"Selfish." I overhear one of Murphy's say.

From what I have told them, I would agree. If I felt guilty that I didn't know him ahead of time I should've talked to him. Connor isn't dead, only in a dead-like state.

"Do you g-guys want some alone time? I may have been annoying, and I don't want to be that so—" I cut myself off, I was rambling. They should tell me to go or not.

"Do whatever you want." Zoe says reading something on her phone, uninterested in her brother.

I stay, mostly to avoid seeming disrespectful. Since there isn't much you can do in a hospital room, I look at the floor, random objects, and Connor.

I wait, doing nothing. The Murphys, excluding Connor stayed on their phones.

I excuse myself after what seems like an hour with a lie, "hey, um I'm going to leave. My mom wants me home so we can go out for dinner."

Without giving giving them time to respond, I make my exit, not caring about JD, Connor, Veronica, or myself. I walk straight home.

I unlock the door, gazing into the living room. I don't bother getting the money on the kitchen table for food, unlike my lie.

I go into my room, lay down on the bed and stay there.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: I HATE that I originally created Evan to say 'fern' or something like that instead of 'fuck.' But because I already have, just know it is apart of his character development. I DO NOT want to fetishize MLM. I am so sorry. I don't know if I unintentionally was, or am, being I am not a person who is not at all MLM who is writing about it. If you are, I would like to know if I was. I have not started any romance yet, but I want to be cautious.
Same thing with the stutter I have given Evan. If you have one, please tell me if it is okay or not okay with me continuing to use it. If not I will go back, change the character's dialogues, and discontinue using it.

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Hope you enjoyed!!!💖💜💙