The Notebook- Chapter 20
Sophia’s POV
“What? Are- is she…” I look at Zayn and hold on tighter to Niall, suddenly needing the support.
“How is she?” Danielle asks him. “I want to go see her.”
He looks at her and slightly nods his head, “Let’s go see her.”
Niall wraps his arms around my shoulder, “I’ll stay here with Soph.” he tells Zayn.
“No, I need her with me,” Zayn whispers. I look up at Niall and then walk to Zayn.
“I am right here Zayn, I’ll go if you want me to.” he hugs me and I contain my tears, needing to be strong for him. We get into his car and drive to the hospital. We walk in and memories of my father come crashing in on me; I close my eyes and try to shake them off. We walk to the receptionist and she tells Zayn Perrie’s room number, he turns to me and then continues walking, followed by the rest except Liam.
“Aren’t you gonna go?” I ask him.
He looks at me as if studying me, “What’s wrong Sophia? You look like you’re gonna pass out any second.”
I bite my bottom lip, “It’s nothing. I- I just…the last time I was in the hospital, I-” my lip starts quivering and I bite on it harder till I draw out some blood.
“Soph,” Liam comes to me and pulls me in his arms. “It’s ok.”
I shake my head, “No Liam, it’s not ok, nothing’s ok.” I mumble in his shirt. “That day I lost my father, he was taken from me.” I cry harder and he rubs circles on my back.
“I can’t imagine the pain that you went through Sophia but I’m sure your dad wouldn’t want you to be feeling like this.”
“I know he wouldn’t Liam but it’s so hard sometimes.” I look up at him, “I miss him so much; him and my mom.”
“Soph, um…” I turn around and see Niall there. “I, uh- Perrie wants to see you.”
I look at him and then Liam and then back to him, “Me?” I question, not believing what he said. He nods his head, seemingly as confused as me, and I follow him. We get to her room and I see everyone waiting outside. “Perrie wants to see you.”
“Yea Zayn, um, Niall told me. But why?” He shrugs his shoulders and everyone else shakes their heads, “I guess I’ll go in and find out.” I open the door and take one last look at Zayn before stepping in. I see Perrie sleeping and I softly close the door; I stand there for some time not knowing what to do, I slowly make my way to her bed and I see the bandages around her wrists. She turns her head and looks at me. “Thank you for coming.”
“I won’t lie, I was a little surprised when they told me you wanted to see me.” I grab a chair and sit next to her. She looks extremely pale and weak and I can’t help but feel a pang of guilt. “Perrie, I know we aren’t friends and we don’t get along but why would you do this to yourself? You are a beautiful woman and you have a whole life to show that.”
She shakes her head and lets her tears fall, “No, I have nothing going for me. I am surrounded by people that are fake and I don’t want to do music right now, I’ve lost my passion for it. My family is so fucked up right now and…and the worst part is that I ruined the only good thing that has happened to me; my relationship with Zayn. I- I love him but he doesn’t. I saw you guys together by the lake and I knew then that it was all over for us; I’ve lost everything and I saw no reason to live.”
“Perrie, you have everything to live for. Your family loves you, don’t do this to them; you’re lucky, you still have them with you. You are surrounded by love, all those people out there, they love you, that’s why they’re here, they want to see you happy and are worried for you. Zayn loves you too, I know he does-”
“No, he loves you. I lost him, the best thing that has happened to me and I lost him. No, I don’t-”
“Perrie, calm down, don’t think like that. You’re gonna find that one person that loves you unconditionally-”
“I only want Zayn, he’s the one for me Sophia. If I don’t have him…I’ll die.” she holds her gaze to mine and a cold chill runs down my spine.
“Don’t say that, no person is worth dying for.” I try to reason with her. “I’m pretty sure you have guys lining up everywhere for the chance to just say hi to you, why would you loose all that for someone?”
“Because I love Zayn. I love him and that’s never going to change.” she starts crying uncontrollably and I feel her pain, her desperation.
I grab her hand and give it a light squeeze, “You’re going to be ok.” I walk out before she can say anything else.
“What happened? What did she want?” Zayn asks as soon as I step out.
“She just wanted to tell me that she’s sorry for doing what she did.” I tell him.
“But why would she tell you that?” Niall questions. I look at him, tears on the brim of my eyes. I look at all of them and walk away.
“Soph, Sophia, what is wrong?” Zayn grabs my wrist and turns me around.
“I’m sorry Zayn.” the moment I see the look on face I regret it but I have to do it.
“Sorry? What are you sorry for?” he tries to smile but fails.
“Sorry that I dragged you into this. Zayn, I lied to you, I am with someone else and what we did at the lake was my attempt to make you feel better.” He looks at me with disgust and it breaks my heart but I remain stoic.
“So you were doing me a favor? You saw me suffering and that was your way of helping me?”
I look at the ground, “Yes Zayn.”
He grabs my face and forces me to look at him, “No, look me in the eyes and tell me that.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, “Yes Zayn.” he lets go of me and takes a few steps back. He looks at me, his eyes completely lifeless, void. He reaches into his pockets and takes out something, “Here. Thank you for your services.” he throws it to the ground and I look at it: money. I look at him and he walks away. As soon as he’s out of sight I start sobbing, I cover my mouth in an attempt to stop it. I calm myself as much as I can and walk out to the lobby, heading to the exit.
“Sophia.” I look up and see Jay.
“Jay what are you doing here?” we walk to the corner of the room. “Are you ok, are you sick?”
“No, I saw you walk in here when I was with the lads and I thought that you were hurt.”
I smile, “No, I’m ok, we came here to see a- a friend but she’s ok too.”
“You don’t look ok to me Sophia, why are you crying?” he tenderly wipes the tears from my face.
“I- I am a horrible person Jay, I deserve all the pain I get.” I choke out. “I hurt those that love me and I-”
“Why are you saying that Soph?” his hands frame my face and I try to pull away but his firm, gentle, hold on me doesn’t loosen. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Jay, I need to be alone. I can’t-” he holds wraps his arms around my waist and I melt into his embrace.
“I’m here for you.” he kisses the top of my head.
“Sophia- what’s going on here?” I turn to see Louis there. “What happened with Zayn?”
“Louis-”
“Mate, she doesn’t want to-”
“I wasn’t talking to you was I Jay. Sophia, we need to talk.”
“Whatever you need to tell my girlfriend you can say it in front of me.”
Louis looks completely shocked, “Is that true Sophia? You’re with him?”
I can’t possibly hurt Zayn anymore. “Yes Louis, Jay is my boyfriend.”
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woot woot 20 chapters already fan share and comment please or i will stop writtin tell me u want to read this!!
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The Notebook
FanficIt's everything and nothing. Its love, truer than ever. Its about him and its about her. Here's a little tale of love, hate, and loss called The Notebook. By: Perksofbeinhlouis.tumblr.com
