Middle school the years you finally get to change classes, get braces, the pimples start, and in my case the time I found out my father was back in jail. I shut down again, I acted out, and I got in a shit ton of trouble. I had never seen my mom so mad at me in my life all we did was fight, there was no middle ground; there was no give and pull we were both on opposite sides of the rope on a giant game of tug-of-war. I lied. I cheated. I stole. I was bad. Little did I know at the time things could get a whole lot worse, and they did.
At the beginning of the sixth grade I was dating a guy my mom told me not to ever even talk to. He was a creep and the whole reason I even gave the poor guy two seconds of my not so precious time was to piss my mom off even more than she already was. I spent more time thinking of ways to make her life miserable and my even better, but it never worked out like that. In fact, it worked out the complete opposite. I went to school and cheated on my home work, my test, my state test. I lied to my mom, my friends, my teachers, everyone.
One day I went to school and my best friend at the time had a broken foot. So to skip P.E. I went to measures that were against the law. I made a note saying that I couldn't participate in the days activities and foraged my mom's signature. It all backfired on me. I got caught, how is not important, but the school called my mom and I got my first and last (so far) ECO and for those of you that don't know that is a three hour after school detention. I remember the look on my mom's face like it was yesterday, the way she talked to, the way her eyes held so much disgusts and disappointment, but worst of all I remember the way I felt after I finally hurt her like that. I thought that when I finally made her feel like she failed that I would be happy, but I realized that I didn't.
I felt worthless, I felt like I meant nothing anymore. She was so calm and collected of the phone, but when she picked me up after those three hours that I will never get back she wasn't. She was so pissed that night, she made me make a scarlet letter L for lying. The next day I had an orthodontist appointment and she made me wear it I cried and said I was sorry but she didn't care. She was mad, and disappointed and now I don't even blame her. After that nothing got better it kept getting worse I thought it was getting better for a little bit because my father got out of jail and came back into my life it was a exciting time on one hand and on the other I kept getting worse with my mom.
Grade seven was when he came back at the time I hoped for good. I stayed out of trouble at school for the most part, but at home my mom and I still fought all the time it was a constant battle at who could hurt who more. Both of us were fighting a losing battle, at least I was ... I kept hurting my mom and I thought that I would feel better if she was hurting, but I didn't. As matter of fact I was hurt worse and worse I didn't know it though; not till later.
Actually I wasn't doing to good at school, academically I was, but socially I wasn't I kept hurting people because I wanted to leave. I wanted to run away. I got what I wanted in the eighth grade.
