The Broken Soundtrack

Track 26: With Or Without You

My dad's absence created a puncture in my heart. Hindi ko ma-explain. Maraming what ifs sa isipan ko.

Gusto kong sisihin si mama dahil hindi man lang siya nagkwento sa akin tungkol sa tunay kong ama. Pero gusto ko rin siyang unawain dahil wala ako sa posisyon niya noong mga panahong naghihirap siya dahil sa pag-alis ni dad.

"Banana split?" The voice of Laken disrupted my thoughts as I watched him set the glass of ice cream infront of me.

My eyes twitched, seeing him pull a chair on the side and sitting across me.

Wala akong naaalala na kailangan ko siyang i-meet ngayong araw na ito. If I remembered it right, my last message to him clearly stated that I was busy studying for the finals. Hence, his appearance here in the ice cream shop was definitely unexpected.

"May nagsabi sa akin na favorite mo ang banana split," Laken spoke, the sound of his spoon tapping against the glass breaking me from my thoughts.

"P-Paano mo nalamang nandito ako?" Nakatingin lang ako sa kanya. Kumikislap ang mukha niya dahil sa pawis. Galing siguro siya sa practice o sa gym.

Kahit na finals week na, nalaman ko na may mga athletes talagang gusto pa ring mag-practice kahit na hindi naman required.

Laken just shrugged, ignoring my question.

Knowing that the library was packed with students during this time of the day, I chose to study here in the small space filled with distraction. The silent walls of the library might just stir the unwanted emotions inside me.

Kaya rin ako nandito ay para maiwasan itong lalaking nasa harap ko ngayon. But somehow, he still managed to find me.

"Hindi ka kakain?" Laken asked, poking my hand with his index finger.

"S-Salamat dito," sagot ko. Scooping from the glass, the frost and honey flavour melted inside my mouth. Napapikit ako sa tamis at lamig na dumulas sa lalamunan ko.

Narinig ko ang mahinang pagtawa ni Laken kaya bigla ulit akong napatingin sa kanya. He had his arms crossed over his chest, his tired-looking eyes directed at me. "Ang cute mo," he commented, suppressing a smile.

Six-foot tall, soccer captain with a smile as unpredictable as the weather, Laken could instantly win the college heartthrob title, if there was a competition for it.

Hindi lang ako makapaniwala na itong lalaking ito ay naging fake boyfriend ko at ngayon ay baka half-brother ko rin. Honestly, hindi pa rin ito nagsi-sink in sa akin.

"Okay ka lang?" tanong niya.

Tumango lang ako sabay subo ulit ng kutsara ng ice cream para maging manhid na ang isip ko.

"May hindi ka sinasabi," he pointed out.

Umiling ako at nagpatuloy lang sa pagkain. "Wala... stressed lang ako sa finals." It was partially true. Paano naman ako makakapag-concentrate knowing that his dad could be my dad.

Laken uncrossed his arms and rested them on the table, his eyes not tearing away from me. "Baka pwede kitang tulungan."

Nginitian ko lang siya para ma-divert ang atensiyon niya sa iba. Kung ano man ang naiisip niyang solusyon, hindi ko ito tatanggapin. "Okay lang talaga ako. Kumusta naman ang finals mo?" I asked instead.

He shook his head, brushing his brown locks with his hand. "Confident naman akong papasa ako. Ihanda mo nalang ang sarili mong manood ulit ng game namin."

I nodded in silence. Alam kong ilang araw nalang at championship game na nila. Kung pwede ko lang i-fast forward ang lahat, this would all be over.

"Malapit na tayong mag-break," he spoke again. "Don't worry. Bibigyan naman kita ng script."